10 Coolest Superhero Lairs17

By Chris Littler, Nov 11, 2010 in Heroes Of The North, Pop Culture

10 Coolest Superhero Lairs

*A note of interest. As you read this story, mouse over words of interest to you and double-click them to see additional information. On most browsers, you will also see a small filmstrip icon appearing with a link, indicating there is an additional video relevant to the story. Hover over the filmstrip and double-click. Try it now; double-click on “lair.” Scroll through the window that appears. Cool, huh?

If you were to put down the latest issue of The Walking Dead and take a good look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, you’d see that “safety of resources and property” is way down at the bottom. That means it’s a basic human need to have a home, a sanctuary, a place to store one’s things. A basic human need. But what, you may ask, of the noble superhuman? Don’t they need a home – perhaps a lair?

Maslow wasn’t thinking of the masked vigilantes of the world when he made his hierarchy, but that’s why we’re here to correct him. Superheroes need a place where they can get away from the annoying public they’ve sworn to protect – a place where they can keep their gadgets and berate their butlers.

These lairs can be as grand and far away as the lunar surface (where the Justice League of America keeps watch) or as unassuming as the moose-filled wilds of Canada (where the Quebec crime fighting team from Heroes of the North do battle evildoers). Although all lairs provide privacy and storage space, some are more comfortable than others. Regardless, having your own space these days is a luxury. Here are ten of the coolest hangouts of our favorite superheroes.

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1. Fortress of Solitude – Superman

Superman’s Fortress of Solitude has its most desirable trait right in the title: solitude. What’s the sense of a having a getaway if you’ve got your nosey butler asking if you want to do another round of ballistic tests, or your sidekick constantly repeating information you both learned twenty minutes ago? Superman is the last of his planet – kind of – and when he’s in his ice cavern, hanging with his crystals, he can unwind like only a Kryptonian can.

2. Batcave – Batman

If you’re going to have a grip of gadgets, you better have a better place to keep them than your sock drawer. Batman lives up to his name and keeps his gadgetry stored safely in a giant cave beneath his mansion. It’s a dark, murky place, but you can’t beat it for convenience. He can keep all his Bruce Wayne stuff upstairs and his Batman stuff downstairs. There also seems to be a limitless amount of rooms and a giant computer that puts my Alienware iron to shame.

3. Xavier’s Mansion – The X-Men

Being a superhuman can be a lonely life. That’s why Professor Xavier’s School for the Gifted is such a neat-o place. Not only is it a great place to learn, but it doubles as a dormitory for the genetically-enhanced. Every room has a different kind of mutant in it, which makes floor parties that much crazier. It’s a unique boarding school experience, especially when headmaster Xavier sends you to the Combat Room and drafts you for his “super secret club” where people “graduate and are never seen from again.” Sounds like a blast! Where do we sign up?

4. Castle Grayskull – He-Man

Living in a castle is already a pretty sweet deal. Double that up with the idea of living in a castle that has numerous unexplained properties, is surrounded by an endless abyss of a moat, and is the home of a sorceress, and you’ve got yourself one hell of a superhero pad. Castle Greyskull is constantly under siege from numbskulls like Skeletor, which only add to the excitement. After all, what’s the point of having a bunch of sweet defense mechanisms if you never get to mechanize them?

5. Atlantis – Prince Namor, the Sub Mariner

If you thought living in Atlantis was pretty cool, then you should try being the prince of Atlantis. Prince Namor doesn’t so much have a lair as he has an entire city at his disposal – albeit one that’s incredibly hard to get to unless you, like him, have some mer-blood in you, have a submarine, or can hold your breath super long. Unfortunately, recent events caused the city to be completely destroyed by the super-villian Nitro. But here’s hoping that Namor and his merfriends can convince the outside world to forget all those times he tried to kill them and pitch in for the relief effort.

6. Karnak – Ozymandias

Karnak is Ozymandia’s name for his Antarctic retreat. It’s named after the vast conglomeration of temples, chapels, and other buildings in the ancient Egyptian city of Thebes. If you’ve read Watchmen, you know Ozymandias, the so-called smartest man in the world, has a thing for Ramses II – particularly his plans for uniting the world under one ruler. So it only makes sense that he name his fortress after his idol’s stronghold. Antarctic Karnak is a whole lot different from Egypt Karnak, however. Egypt had a genetically engineered giant squid with enough psychic power to level an entire city.

7. Abandoned Subway – Blank Man

Sometimes it’s not all about being flashy. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a place of your own that doesn’t scream, “Look at me, I’m a superhero.” That’s the case of Blankman’s abandoned subway hideout, which he brings ace reporter Kimberly Johns to when she requests to interview him. You know there’s something good going on if you can get a girl to fall in love with you as ridiculously fast as Ms. Johns does and still live underground. It’s also incredibly roomy, and you can trade rat pie recipes with the army of mole people who live in the tunnels.

8. Sewer Hideout – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The teenage mutant ninja turtles weren’t born in the sewers, but it’s certainly where they came of age. Knowing that a fancy pizza-box laden penthouse isn’t really their style, the turtles stay close to home. Their sewer hideout probably smells better than your typical above-ground frat house, and you can’t beat the novelty of a rat like Splinter hanging around who just wants to teach you the ways of the ninja. The New York City sewer system connects to every borough, so the turtles can get wherever they need to go in a hurry. The only problem is that it can be extremely confusing for pizza delivery boys, but so was my old apartment at 11211134 ½ 6th Great Street Dr.

9. Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense – Hellboy

It’s nice to feel useful. When you’re living at the BPRD, a private agency funded by several major world governments to keep tabs on the supernatural world, you’re always going to have something to do. Whether it’s quietly investigating a recent invasion of frog creatures with firestarter Liz Sherman, engaging in hand to hand combat with one of Ogdru Jahad’s many followers, learning from amphibious man Abe Sapien, or just relaxing with the “beast of the apocalypse” himself, Hellboy, in his apartment with all his many pet cats, you can rest easy knowing that at any moment some new creature is going to be summoned from the pits, and it’s up to you to keep it from consuming the entirety of humanity.

10. The Watchtower – Justice League of America

America was the first country to get to the moon. So it only makes sense that their justice league should have their base there. Then again, I’m not sure any other country has a Justice League, so it’s a moot point. The JLA’s lunar base is constructed out of Promethium, a magical metal you can only find in the dimension known as Otherplace, using only the most highly advanced human, Martian, and Thanagarian technologies. It’s an architectural marvel, complete with living quarters themed to each member’s personal taste, a conference room with a knights of the round style table, and a Chick-Fil-A that’s open 24-7. Its lunar location allows the JLA to keep close tabs on everything happening on the Earth’s surface, because, after all, America is the world’s peacekeeper. Right?

Heroes Of The North – Canadian Shield – Episode 1

Heroes Of The North – 8 Ball Origins – Episode 2

Watch more episodes of the international action series Heroes of the North

Chris Littler lives in Hollywood. He has a degree in Dramatic Writing from the Tisch School of the Arts at New York University, one of the most prestigious writing programs in America, which he totally plans to hang on the wall when he has a Study. Chris currently covers video games at UGO.com when he’s not performing improv at iO, and is currently writing a one-hour TV pilot with his friend Wes. Like everyone else you know, he has an album available to purchase on iTunes and has lots of things to say on his blog: chrislittler[dot]com.
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