13 Great Movies That Probably Sounded Terrible As Pitches

It’s not just a cliché: Hollywood truly is a cutthroat town, and the blood from all those film-industry rejects collects in a tepid pool on the cutting-room floor. While the punishment often fits the crime, it’s also true that many great movies probably sounded like complete trash when they were originally pitched to friends, mothers, and studio executives. I mean, did anyone really hear the premise of Men in Black or The Ring and feel confident they had a winner on their hands? Probably not. But sometimes risks pay off.

And so, in the spirit of risks, we have compiled some critically and commercially successful films that, in spite of their ludicrous premises, managed to come out on top. But don’t be fooled – sometimes horrible ideas will lead to even worse films, such as “a sequel to Saw called See.” That little gem comes courtesy of our own series, “Son of a Pitch,” which you can find embedded below.

Watch MORE Episodes of “Son of a Pitch”

1. Alien (1979)

“A crew of astronauts responds to a distress call on a small planetoid and uncovers a chamber of eggs in an abandoned vessel. An alien creature pops out and rapes a male astronaut’s face, impregnating him with a not-at-all-phallically-shaped parasite. The parasite bursts from the astronaut’s chest and grows into a monster that looks vaguely cybernetic, with an elongated tongue that resembles a vagina with teeth.”

Why it worked: Where most horror films reveal the monster right off the bat, Alien built extra suspense by unconventionally keeping the, er, alien antagonist under wraps until the end of the film. The whole film was a total mind-bender. And in an ingenious act of casting symmetry, Sigourney Weaver kinda looks like an alien.

2. Ghostbusters (1984)

“So there are these nerdy psychic scientists right? And they want to fight ghosts with proton backpacks. They’re kind of dressed like a SWAT team…”

Why it worked: Dan Akroyd, Bill Murray and…Slimer. This impeccable cast of comedians transformed an inherently silly movie into a cult classic with lines we will continue to quote for decades into the future.

3. Armageddon (1998)

“A meteor is hurtling toward Earth and President Billy Bob Thornton recruits a team of oil drillers and trains them to become astronauts. The plan: To prevent the planet’s imminent destruction by getting a crew of untrained, blue-collar workers to operate complex equipment to bore a bomb into the meteor’s core and split its path outside the Earth’s vicinity. That’s right, the planet’s fate rests in the hands of Steve Buscemi, Ben Affleck, and Bruce Willis. Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” plays every 20 minutes.”

Why it worked: All-star cast (in the 90s, anyway) and a plot that was equal parts chick flick and mass destruction (before those became taboo). And Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” plays every 20 minutes.

4. Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

“A kid from the slums competes on India’s version of ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire’ hoping to catch a girl’s attention.”

Why it worked: The film appealed to the hearts of moviegoers across the globe, regardless of their background. We rooted for the protagonist from the very beginning of the story, overlooking any moments of unrealistic storytelling in favor of a desire to believe.

5. The Matrix (1999)

“Ted of Bill and Ted fame is a part-time hacker. Unbeknownst to him, he and the rest of humanity are trapped in a large computer owned and operated by robots. Cowboy Curtis from ‘Pee Wee’s Playhouse’ commissions Ted to become a soldier in his rebellion against the robots. We’ll want to avoid making this film pretentious, so Ted also happens to be Jesus. And he knows Kung Fu.”

Why it worked: Special effects, loud fight scenes, techno and testosterone. Also, Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) looks great in leather, and Ted delivers on his trademark: the obligatory so-bad-it’s-good performance. Did we mention special effects?

6. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)

“Uma Thurman faces off against a crime boss called “Bill” and his minions, The Deadly Viper Assassin Squad, in retaliation for an assassination attempt. Standing in her way is a gang called the Crazy 88′s (seriously). Replete with esoteric references and masturbatory cinematic sequences too awesome for you or anyone not named Quentin to begin to grasp.”

Why it worked: Awesome fight choreography, solid acting, and a killer soundtrack. Plus, because it was a Tarantino film and not liking the latest Tarantino film is so out of fashion.

7. Back to the Future (1985)

“A kid goes back in time and accidentally makes out with his mom.”

Why it worked: A kid goes back in time and accidentally makes out with his mom. Honorable mention: hover boards, flux capacitors, a fast car and Michael J. Fox when he was the coolest person on the planet.

8. Star Wars IV: A New Hope (1977)

“An effeminate robot and his bipedal life partner crash-land onto a desert planet with design plans for a weapon of mass destruction. They enter the ownership of an inexperienced farm boy and an old hermit, and together with a smuggler and a giant brown yeti, they embark on a quest to save the galaxy from a guy in black armor with bronchitis.”

Why it worked: It’s Star Wars, and this is America.

9. Men in Black (1997)

“A Clandestine organization enlists The Fresh Prince to safeguard alien refugees descending on the planet. It’s like Ghostbusters, but with extra terrestrials!”

Why it worked: Like the Rush Hour movies, it struck while the iron was hot for sophomoric action/comedy films. Also, it didn’t hurt that Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones shared some serious badass-infused chemistry.

10. Pirates of the Caribbean (2003)

“We’re using a Disneyland attraction as a source of inspiration with Legolas from The Lord of the Rings as a less-effeminate swashbuckling blacksmith and Johnny Depp as the love child of Keith Richards and a drunken pirate. Trust us: it’s a good idea.”

Why it worked: Some combination of marketing budgets, a family-friendly/adult-approved screenplay, Johnny Depp, and an early-decade pirate fad made this flick tolerable, if not downright fun.

11. The Ring (2002)

“A cursed videotape mysteriously kills each of its viewers within a week. Once the week is over, a pruney goth chick crawls out of a television set and kills her victims with a cold stare. Nevermind how this tape was made, why this happens, and what might happen if the victims were to simply stay away from television sets at the deadline.”

Why it worked: That little goth chick is creepy enough to justify the “horror” label, but not quite creepy enough to make it a bad date movie. Plus, Naomi Watts is a fine glass of water.

12. Let the Right One In (2008)

“Since vampires are all the rage today, we’re going to produce a Swedish horror film about a vampiress and her romance with a tormented 12-year-old boy. Oh, and it turns out that the vampire who looks like a little girl is, in fact, a castrated boy.” Wait, what?

Why it worked: Ok, they were right, vampires are indeed awesome. But enough already!

13. Avatar (2009)

“So get this: A corporation is mining a tropical planet for a rare mineral and decides to employ giant, remote-controlled smurfs to try to appease its natives. One of the humans (in smurf form) falls in love decides to integrate with the natives. Let’s make it exactly like Dances with Wolves, but longer and a sh#t-ton more expensive!”

Why it worked: The visuals were astounding and James Cameron knows how to direct even better than he knows how to spend money. Plus, the color blue is kinda sexy.

Watch MORE Episodes of “Son of a Pitch”