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13 TV Shows Besides Seinfeld That Are About Nothing5

By Mike Betette

13 TV Shows Besides Seinfeld That Are About Nothing

Shows don’t necessarily have to be “about” anything to be great. Case in point: the show about nothing within a show about nothing, Seinfeld. It proved that most of us would rather watch two interesting characters have a conversation than watch a show where cops sing a song then change into animals to fight evil little robot girls. Wait, I take that back. I would love to watch “CopRockManimalSmallWonder.” Anyway, back to my point. It’s the microcosm of life that we can all relate to and find fascinating and fun. Similar to KoldCast TV’s Patrick and Molly and The Little Things, a show about a married couple in their 20′s, sometimes a show can seem to be about nothing, but in reality is about everything all at once. Now, stick that concept in your pipe and smoke it. Looking for more nothing to watch? Check out this list of 13 TV shows besides Seinfeld that are about nothing.

Patrick and Molly and All The Small Things, Episode 1: Werewolves

1. Friends

Friends is a show about friends. These friends are sometimes related, sometimes hooking up and sometimes breaking up but always trying to be friendly with each other. So friendly, that they dance in a fountain together in formal wear. Silly, silly friends. Actually, I kind of think Friends was about Rachel’s haircut and that kick-ass apartment in NYC… at least that’s what I responded to the most.

2. Soap Operas

You can stop watching a soap opera for two years, then turn it back on one day, and the plot will be almost exactly the same. Presently, Stefano may be using his mind to convince Hope and Jon to be spies that live in a submarine, but what’s different about that? Stefano is the bad guy! Always was, always will be. He does bad things to good people… mostly Jon and Hope. Consistency and dependability, that’s why grandmas love Days of Our Lives. Grandmas… and me!

3. Any Show With a Stand-up Comedian’s Name in the Title

Cosby, Roseanne, Everybody Loves Raymond, Ellen, Louie, According to Jim. I’ll even throw Reba in there for fun. I bet she does some jokes between songs. Seinfeld was just one of many comics who took his on-stage persona and put it in a living room. Most of them turn out pretty well, actually. They’re real slices of life where the main character already has a strong and funny point of view.

4. Lost

Seriously, what the hell is this show about? And when does it take place? And what is real? Maybe I shouldn’t have only watched the last episode, because I was REALLY confused. They could time travel? Why didn’t they just travel to a time when they were finally off the island and be done with the whole mess? And I thought they lived in a zoo or something. Somebody told me there were polar bears on the island.

5. Big Brother After Dark

This is not regular Big Brother, the reality/game show where they have challenges and are trying to backstab each other to stay in the house. That one has a point, kind of. I’m talking about the after hours show on Showtime where you can watch hours of raw footage of them living. Just living. I once watched them make dinner for a half hour. It’s voyeurism at its best. Which apparently is really freaking boring.

6. Adventure Time

Oh man, I love this show! It’s on Cartoon Network, and it’s the craziest cartoon I have ever seen. It’s like ADD on Red Bull. There’s this kid and this dog, and they go around and yell and do stuff, and sometimes they encounter an Ice King or a Lumpy Space Princess. They yell and scream and hop from one idea to the next, and I can never figure out where the show is going. I have no idea what it’s about, which is exactly why I love it.

7. The Glenn Beck Program

What in the hell is this man talking about??? He goes from pontificating about how he is the next Martin Luther King Jr. to crying about a Christmas sweater. I have never heard someone use so many words, and tears, and say absolutely zilch. This show has nothing to do with politics, it’s just a crazy person with a microphone shoved in front of his face jabbering on about stuff he once heard that may or not be true. And the crying, all the crying! He’s the only man on TV with a wetter face than Jacques Cousteau. Somebody put a garden under his face so at least he’ll be good for something.

8. Pee Wee’s Playhouse

Another crazy fun kids show. Kids shows don’t need to be about anything except fun! Just let us scream when we hear a word, talk to a chair, have a cowboy and a jerk puppet show up, put a genie’s head in a box… whoa, wait a minute. This show is starting to sound like a psychotic nightmare. Heck, maybe it was. I still loved it!

9. The Wendy Williams Show

This show is absolutely vapid. I just wish Wendy Williams could make one thing fall out of your mouth that was either (1) remotely interesting or (2) sounded like she was saying it on purpose. This show has neither of those things. It’s like watching a drunken child. She has no filter and no sense of any “On-Air Professionalism.” It’s a show about verbal meandering until the hour is up.

10. Aqua Teen Hunger Force

If anything, this show is “about” a package of french fries, a meatball and a milkshake who live in New Jersey. If that’s not bizarre enough for you, they are visited by all kinds of weird creatures who screw with them and their douchey next door neighbor, Carl. But that’s not really what the show is “about.” It’s essentially 15 minutes of jam-packed bizarre craziness with an awesome theme song.

11. E! News

Can this show just please go away? Or at least can we put the “News” part in quotes. How much Lindsay Lohan footage can one show have? Apparently, lots. According to their website, E! News is: “Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic bring you the hottest entertainment stories, trends and celebrity interviews every day.” I would change that to, “Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic blather on about what Hollywood pays them to say.” Which is, ultimately, everything that’s meaningless.

12. Blaine’s Low Carb Kitchen on FitTV

At first I assumed this show was an infomercial, but it’s not. It’s a “real” show. It’s a cooking show where Blaine, who looks like your boring uncle, stands around and tells you how to cook stuff with the passion of a glass of tap water, no ice. Absolutely nothing happens on this show. Blaine mumbles around and cuts things and talks to no one and then it’s over. This is less of a TV show and more of a weird shadow you thought you saw out of the corner of your eye, but then you turn and nothing’s there but boiled chicken. Sorry, Blaine.

13. Sabado Gigante

I know what you’re thinking, “You just think this show is about nothing because you don’t speak Spanish!” It’s true. I don’t speak Spanish. But I have watched this show the whole way through, and I cannot fathom the idea that even if I did speak the language I would understand what was going on. It goes from game show to talk show to music video to comedy sketches with men in drag in floppy hats with giant lollypops and sexy, busty teachers. How can you explain that? I challenge you. I have a feeling that they’re not even really speaking Spanish. That being said, I really enjoy Sabado Gigante.

Patrick and Molly and All The Small Things, Episode 2: Testosteroni

Patrick and Molly and All The Small Things, Episode 3: Secrets

Patrick and Molly and All The Small Things, Episode 4: I Love Ewe

Mike Betette is an improviser/writer/actor in Los Angeles. He has performed improv across the country with Mission IMPROVable and on a cruise ship around the world with The Second City. In Los Angeles, he currently performs at iOwest and Mi’s Westside Comedy Theater. Mike has written for Manswers on Spike and CurrentTV’s Supernews.

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Must Reads 8/31/2014