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15 Most Inventive Burritos Known to Man10

By Rebecca Leib

We all like a good burrito – all your favorite ingredients mixed together and wrapped tightly in warm flour blanket. Is it possible to ruin such a simple, beautiful meal? Quite possibly.

Because this meal is so deliciously simple, chefs around the world have taken it upon themselves to create their own burritos for their own purpose. Whether in need of a hearty breakfast on the go, trying to get rid of a multitude of leftovers or just wanting to marry your two favorite foods, there is a passionate desire to put a personal twist on the Mexican favorite. If you’re going to do something, your way is the best way. What’s the outcome? It can be heavenly, chaotic, inspired or grotesque.

1. The Real Breakfast Burrito

Cottage cheese and egg white breakfasts are for wusses. Our favorite breakfast? Some good old-fashioned french toast – MEXICAN STYLE. It’s made by wrapping a tortilla, burrito-style, around mashed banana, and then dipping it in egg and corn flakes and deliciously deep-fried. After a quick sugar and cinnamon sprinkling, this breakfast fiesta is good to go. It’s a specialty at Shopsin’s restaurant in NYC!

2. The Korean

Like Korean food and Mexican food but can’t find any trendy fusion restaurants? Los Angeles hosts the now famous Kogi food trucks where you can try a Kimchee, short rib and god-knows-what-else burrito. That will surely kick start all of your senses.

3. Cactus Slims

How about a burrito made of prickly pear cactus? Don’t mind if I do! Just ask Nick and Miri’s food competition blog, NickAndMiri.wordpress.com. Sure, cactus needs to be marinated or it’ll be like eating a rubber shoe, but it’s a Mexican tradition.

4. The Beast

While starving people in third world countries beg for scraps of food, dandehaan.blogspot.com is hosting giant burrito eating parties. The burrito in question is dubbed the “Don’t Even Think About It” from a restaurant in Kalamazoo, MI called The Big Burrito. It’s 30 inches long and comes with all kinds of gastrointestinal troubles!

5. The Leftover

I know, these look a little unappetizing. That’s because they’re made from leftover fridge items and old pot roast. A burrito to remember? www.3sidesofcrazy.com thinks so, and so do we. But how long can you leave a meal made of leftovers as leftovers? These are questions for the universe, people.

6. The Halloweiner

This one’s for all ghouls, ghosts and hallows who love the cuisine south of the border. It’s black bean, pumpkin and a whole lot of vegan goodness courtesy of closetcooking.blogspot.com, a blog for cooking in a tiny-ass kitchen (respect). It’s not only for Halloween, but you know, for fall and breakfast and stuff.

7. The Phil-Bur

Though it’s called the Philly Taco, this Taco is really more like a burrito. The outside is pizza, the inside is delicious cheese steak. Made by Lorenzo & Sons, a Philly mainstay, is it genius or a horrible distortion of two great meals.

8. The Jerky

This burrito has rice, refried beans, guacamole and veggies on the inside, wrapped in gigantic pieces of beef jerky and topped with tomatoes. Though I applaud the inventiveness, I prefer my jerky fix from gas stations, paired with cheese sticks.

9. The After Dinner

This burrito is served after your normal burrito, and graciously served at Los Dos Molinos in Springerville, Arizona. It’s a pastry shell with vanilla ice cream and apple filling inside and all the fixins like chocolate, brown sugar outside. Sundaes are so passe!

10. The Heart attack

Okay- don’t get this twisted. It is quite simply a sausage stuffed with a Taco Bell cheesy double beef burrito. Courtesy of www.frumpzilla.com, this burrito is for someone that isn’t satisfied with the everyday, mass-market burrito. Also, it’s for someone with a really, really strong heart.

11. Little Asia

This gem is all Eastern, all the time… well, except in concept. From Roshi’s raw lifestyle blog, this special bundle is wrapped in collard greens and filled with sprouts, citrus, ginger, agave and more. It’s also got walnuts, pecans for extra crunch. Healthy eastern(ish) cooking!

12. The Kitten

Okay, this one isn’t for eating, but for ADORING! Remember, don’t attempt to make a kitten burrito without an adorable kitten and a full stomach. Puppy burrito is the alternative, as long as you can find a good tortilla washcloth.

13. The S’more

This one’s good for cantinas or campfires…. add banana for extra originality. Found at yummy-food-recipes.com, don’t let the generic name of the blog disguise its innate deliciousness and creativity.

14. The Twink

Theresa Cogswell’s “Twinkies Cookbook” just went a little south of the border with this one, folks. It’s basically a veggie burrito with a twinkie inside. Delicious? Not sure. Adventurous? Maybe. Shelf life? Indefinite.

15. The Sushi Mama

This sushi burrito from cherrybombpie.com boasts a seaweed tortilla, Korean yams and sweet potatoes, purple rice, sesame, avocado. Add a ton of wasabi and some yellowtail and I am totally game.

Rebecca Leib received her BFA in Fine Art and MFA in writing and hails from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She is a Los Angeles based comedian and writer. Her work can be seen in the pages of many print and online publications, including Beautiful/Decay, Artillery Magazine, Blackbook, Tvgasm, Metrowize and Dailyfill. She has performed at the Second City Studio Theatre, UCB-LA, IOWest and the improv, and can often be seen brooding at sidewalk cafes.

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Must Reads 8/22/2014