19 High Profile Wardrobe Malfunctions

We don’t know what George Eastman’s intended purpose was when he created Kodak in 1888. Some say he wanted to forever capture history. Some say he wanted to make sweet, sweet, ankle porn. Either way, the still camera has been used to capture some of the most historically titillating moments, as those in the public eye inadvertently bare all. Though celebrity subjects wish these photos would disappear forever, the girls on our own show, the World’s Sexiest Parties, don’t mind at all, and they have well over 30 episodes to prove it. In honor of those who have bared all for the camera, intentionally or not, here are 19 of the highest profile wardrobe malfunctions that caught our attention.

1. TARA REID

When you watch the video of Tara Reid accidentally strutting her stuff, or the whizzing cameras at P-Diddy’s birthday party, a lot of things come to mind. Some of them are unprintable, but the most priceless moment comes when Tara’s handler pulls her aside and tells her to cover up. She thought the cameras were just excited to see her, and she was right, in a way. Oh the hubris.

2. HALLE BERRY

It was really cold in Vancouver last December, and there is photographic evidence to prove it. While working on her newest movie, Halle Berry suffered a wardrobe malfunction of her own, and showed some photogs some of her Oscar-winning talents. We tip our hat to the paparazzi who somehow got on the set, or to the producers crazy enough to let them in. Either way…

3. JANET JACKSON

Most everyone knows about the Timberlake/Jackson fiasco that took place at the Super Bowl, but what many people don’t know is the drama that unfolded after the event. The halftime show caused the largest surge of FCC complaints in history, and that led to over $500 thousand in fines; the most in FCC history. MTV, the producers of the halftime show, were banned by the NFL from ever producing a halftime show again. In ninja-star-nipple-rings we trust.

4. PARIS HILTON

There are two types of people in this world: Monks who swear to never use electricity, and people who have seen Paris Hilton naked. That means if you’re not burning tattoos into your forearms with a boiling cauldron, you fall into the latter category. The image below occurred on Ms. Hilton’s music video shoot for “The Stars are Blind.” Paris should have used it as an opportunity to increase sales – the non-nude version of the music video and album were both failures.

5. BRITNEY SPEARS

There was a time long ago, back in 2006, when men were men, women were kind of like men, and pop stars didn’t wear underwear. Probably inspired by her then-bestie Paris Hilton, brit-brit made so many “appearances” before the paparazzi that Diane Keaton felt obliged to quip, “I can understand burning your bra, but it is NOT OK to not wear underwear!”

6. LINDSAY LOHAN

The lady with the fiery hair is usually too embroiled in a face-off with substance to notice, but her clothes rarely serve their intended purpose. She should probably check the warranty; they’ll do replacements at Express.

7. LILLY ALLEN

Across the pond they do things differently. They drive on the other side of the road, they are cannibals (citation needed), and their pop-stars don’t wear bras. (OK, they’re exactly the same.) Lilly Allen does not appear to be a huge fan of clothes. A Google search regarding wardrobe malfunctions placed second in number of results, right behind Janet’s Super Bowl fiasco.

8. MEGAN FOX

This shot made the internet rounds recently, and the details are difficult to find, but we promise it’s there. Yeah, we studied the photo for hours. Our research interns were going to hire a team of scientists to use their amazing microscopes to increase the size of the area in question, but they were too busy wiping the drool from their chins.

9. LADY GAGA

This really isn’t a wardrobe malfunction, but then again, it’s hard to call anything the lady with the poker face wears, a wardrobe success. Lady Gaga is known to throw tradition aside, including antiquated conventions such as “shame,” “decency,” and “taste.”

10. MISCHA BARTON

Part of the problem, actually the entire problem, behind all these wardrobe malfunctions, is the fact that none of these ladies are wearing clothes in the classic sense. The Webster Dictionary definition of clothes is “Cloth or Fabric used to cover the body,” not “Hey guys, I’m wearing a skirt and suspenders, lolz!”

11. GILLIAN COOKE

It’s understandable if you have trouble imagining everyone’s favorite sled-related pastime as being an opportunity to see some skin, but UK Bobsled Olympian Gillian Cooke has always been one to shatter stereotypes. As she and her sledding partner prepared to bobsled (that’s the actual verb) down the course in St. Moritz, Gillian’s Adidas suit split right down her posterior. Always the consummate athlete, the soon-to-be-youtube-famous Cooke didn’t let it faze her, and completed the course to take home 7th place. (Wardrobe malfunctions cause notorious amounts of drag.)

12. NICOLE RITCHIE

Living the simple life means you don’t wear a lot of underwear. Lionel’s daughter is less in the spotlight than she used to be, and after several run-ins with fashion disasters she’s taken big steps back. Look forward to seeing her guest judge on Project Runway soon. Fashion Redemption can even take the form of Heidi Klum.

13. ELIZABETH HURLEY

We have a theory that wardrobe malfunctions are the result of the British, just like Sting, and, oh yeah, the entire country. Elizabeth Hurley was such a big deal last decade, that not even the power of the wardrobe malfunction was enough to save her… though we think the right supporting dramatic turn might do it.

14. JESSICA SIMPSON

John Mayer recently called our Number 14 “Sexual Napalm.” We hear Jessica’s a little embarrassed, but it’s actually pretty cool. At least Mayer didn’t call her “Sexual Mayonnaise.”

15. ANNA NICOLE SMITH

Everything was going great for the woman Playboy once crowned Playmate of the Year. She had lost a lot of weight, was popular again, and she had the unconditional manipulation love of Howard K. Stern. While presenting an award to Kanye West, Anna inexplicably decided to tease the audience, but she did a whole lot more than that.

16. CHER

Do you believe in life after love? How about life before bras? This blast from the past showcases the historical precedent of the wardrobe malfunction, but its roots go back farther than that, as the following historical transcription proves:

George Washington: Martha! Be careful, your bosom is bare, and Thomas Jefferson is making a woodcarving of the foul catastrophe!

Martha Washington: FIE!

17. KIRSTEN DUNST

One would think there would be more wardrobe malfunctions on the beach, and you would be incredibly right, but we like a tough challenge so we tend to stay away from those. Still, Kirsten Dunst is pretty good at keeping her private parts private, and this is an opportunity we just couldn’t pass up.

18. JULIA ROBERTS

Even the greats have wardrobe malfunctions from time to time. For these classy ladies it’s not so much their fault. In fact, we blame the garment industry as a whole for the problem, as they don’t listen to us as much as we’d like. Apparently clothes are very popular these days.

19. YOLANDA BOWSLEY

Americans all share some common dreams, and being a contestant on The Price is Right is one of them. A woman named Yolanda Bowsley got to live that dream; whether or not exposing herself on national television was another dream of hers remains a secret. After having her name called, she rushed to the stage so fast that her top came off, and she didn’t notice until she was at the podium. Barker, always a gentleman, pointed out that “She came on down, and they came on out!”

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Scott Brown
Scott is an award-winning filmmaker working in the digital space. He is a graduate of USC with a degree in screenwriting and now works in Los Angeles developing content for New and Traditional Media. His most recent work, Blue Movies, plays on KoldCast.TV.