A Dirty Dozen Pre- And Post-coital Conversations In Movie History
Sex without a little conversation is like a steak without seasoning. Sure, it tastes all right, and it’s still steak, but it’s missing something integral. Coming up with a memorable bit of pre- or post-coital conversation isn’t easy though. As many of us have learned the hard way, the line between memorable-for-all-the-right-reasons and memorable-for-all-the-wrong-reasons is blurry and delicate at best. Quite fearlessly, KoldCast TV’s bedroom comedy series, Pillow Talks, tackles the art of the coital-conversation in every single episode, and does it remarkably well. But for those of us with humdrum lives that need some inspirational bedroom rapport, check out these 12 memorable pre- and post-coital convos from movie history.
Pillow Talks: Rejuvenation
1. PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE
My personal favorite bit of sexually-charged dialogue comes from the movie Punch-Drunk Love starring Adam Sandler and written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. Sander plays an introverted weirdo that owns a company that markets themed toilet plungers. During the film he exploits a loophole in the promotion of a pudding company to amass a million frequent flyer miles, deals with a foul-mouthed mattress man attempting to extort him and falls in love with an equally weird woman named Lena. The pillow talk these two wonderful weirdos share is both bizarre and wonderfully romantic at the same time.
2. NORTH BY NORTHWEST
Alfred Hitchcock’s 1959 thriller North By Northwest about mistaken identity is as famous for its dramatic climax on the face of Mt. Rushmore as it is for the sometimes hilarious, undeniably sexy banter between Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint. From the moment the pair meets on a train to Chicago, the seduction begins. It quickly moves from the dining car to their personal quarters where Eva offers to lend a hand on his quest to locate the mysterious George Kaplan, the man he’s been confused with. She suggests that he stay in her hotel room in Chicago. Grant tells her that it might be dangerous, to which she responds, “I’m a big girl.” His retort is simple, “Yes… and in all the right places.”
3. CRASH
Written and directed by horror icon David Cronenberg, and based on a novel of the same name, 1996’s Crash is an odd little flick about a film producer, played by James Spader, who is living a rather disconnected and boring life with his wife. After his car collides head on with another car one evening after work, he comes to the realization that he has a very weird fetish – car accidents turn him on. Lots of weirdness follows. As the film draws to a conclusion, he and his wife are involved in a semi-deliberate accident together, and a brief but memorable bit of conversation takes place while they’re lying bloody in the grass.
4. PULP FICTION
Quentin Tarantino’s career is due heavily to the strength of his dialogue, and Pulp Fiction is his most famous example of this. Of all the fantastic exchanges in the film, it’s a particular bit of playful pillow talk between an aging boxer, played by Bruce Willis, and his girlfriend Fabienne that takes the cake for one of his most creative and still oddly arousing bits of dialogue. While rolling around in bed, they discuss a boxing match, the sexiness of pot bellies, the fact that they’re in an awful lot of danger, and whether or not they’ll give each other “oral pleasure.” Good stuff.
5. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
Directed by Ang Lee, 2005’s Brokeback Mountain stirred up an awful lot of controversy when it was first released. This was mostly because Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger were making out. The film tells the story of a couple of cowboys and their secret twenty-year long relationship on the fictional Brokeback Mountain in Wyoming. There are quite a few memorable pre and post-coital conversations as part of the couple’s various late night rendezvous’ in the wilderness – you can pretty much take your pick.
6. OUT OF SIGHT
The too-often-forgotten Out of Sight is a crime flick released in 1998, directed by Steven Soderbergh, and based on the novel of the same name by Elmore Leonard. The film tells the story of a career criminal, played by George Clooney, and a U.S. Marshall, played by Jennifer Lopez, that are forced to share a trunk together during a getaway and end up falling for each other. The heat between the two is undeniable, and their conversation in a bar before the dangerous liaison is bound to make you sweat.
7. SECRETARY
There’s no actual “sex” taking place in Secretary, but there might as well be. Released in 2002, Secretary stars Maggie Gyllenhaal as a socially awkward, overly sensitive girl that takes a job as a secretary to a rather peculiar attorney played by James Spader. Maggie sucks at her job, and while Spader seems annoyed with her constant typos at first, it doesn’t take long for us to realize that the annoyance is actually arousal. He likes his ladies meek and submissive, and Maggie fills the bill. When James invites her into his office for the scene in question, he not only tells her that the typos will no longer be tolerated, but gives her a good spanking as well. Like I said, not exactly sex, but pretty darn close.
8. GONE WITH THE WIND
Released in 1939 and based on Margaret Mitchell’s novel of the same name, Gone With the Wind is one of most enduring romances in the history of American cinema. The character of flirty, pretty, headstrong Scarlett, played by Vivien Leigh, spends years pining for a man by the name of Ashley Wilkes only to discover that he’s already declared his love for another. Everything changes when Rhett Butler arrives on the scene though. The banter the pair share on the stairs before he picks her up and carries her away for a romp is the stuff of legends. “Scarlett. You’ve turned me out while you chased Ashley Wilkes, while you dreamed of Ashley Wilkes. This is one night you’re not turning me out.”
9. CHINATOWN
In Roman Polanski’s 1974 neo-noir classic Chinatown, Jack Nicholson plays a private investigator that’s hired to perform surveillance on the chief engineer for the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power. There are some twists, some turns, and a few zig-zags as far as the plot is concerned, and eventually Jack ends up in bed with the chief engineer’s wife, played by Faye Dunaway. During the sharing of a cigarette during post-coital bliss, the pair strike up a conversation about Jack’s past. The subtle looks between them speak more than the actual words do.
10. YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN
Some might argue that the exchange between Peter Boyle’s monster and Madeline Kahn’s tightly-wound Elizabeth in Mel Brook’s 1974 film Young Frankenstein is not a “conversation.” What is communicated, however, is undeniable. The monster does little more than grunt and drop his pants, which prompts a rather surprised Elizabeth to respond with an extremely telling, “woof.” Moments later she’s singing at the top of her lungs. Who doesn’t understand the language of lust?
11. DEMOLITION MAN
The highly underrated Demolition Man offers a lot more than just really cool action (though there’s a lot of that too). There are some not-too-shabby bits of comedy, and what is easily one of the most unique pre-coital sex conversations in the history of cinema. Sylvester Stallone stars as a cop from the past that wakes up in the future to hunt down a dangerous criminal. He’s partnered with a naive future cop played by a remarkably sexy Sandra Bullock. For Stallone, the future proves to be an awfully confusing world, and sex a far different act then he remembered. When Bullock suggests they engage in the act, she puts on the theme from The Love Boat, and straps a gold helmet to his head.
12. BOUND
Bound is a crazy-sexy film released in 1996 and directed by the Wachowski Brothers of The Matrix fame (believe it or not). The movie tells the story of a woman, played by an obscenely sexy Jennifer Tilly, who’s searching for a way out of her current relationship. She meets an eternally sweaty ex-con played by Gina Gershon, and the pair conjures up a scheme to steal $2 million in mafia money. Oh, and they also have a lot of sex. During a heavy flirting session, the girls talk of tattoos and experimenting while dropping some innuendos that are about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the back of the head.
Steven Novak is a writer, illustrator, graphic designer and admitted lifelong nerd with an embarrassingly large DVD collection. He is currently working and living in the Southern California desert. His most recent fantasy/action adventure novel, “Forts: Fathers and Sons,” is available everywhere books are sold.
Every time I see Pulp Fiction, I expect Bruce Willis’ character to come home and find Fabienne murdered. I still whoop for joy when she runs out to meet him.
And yes, Bound is the movie the pause/rewind button on the remote is made for. Jennifer Tilly..drool…
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A Dirty Dozen Pre- And Post-coital Convos In Movie History1
By Steven Novak, Aug 25, 2010 in Pillow Talks, Pop Culture, Show News
A Dirty Dozen Pre- And Post-coital Conversations In Movie History
Sex without a little conversation is like a steak without seasoning. Sure, it tastes all right, and it’s still steak, but it’s missing something integral. Coming up with a memorable bit of pre- or post-coital conversation isn’t easy though. As many of us have learned the hard way, the line between memorable-for-all-the-right-reasons and memorable-for-all-the-wrong-reasons is blurry and delicate at best. Quite fearlessly, KoldCast TV’s bedroom comedy series, Pillow Talks, tackles the art of the coital-conversation in every single episode, and does it remarkably well. But for those of us with humdrum lives that need some inspirational bedroom rapport, check out these 12 memorable pre- and post-coital convos from movie history.
Pillow Talks: Rejuvenation
1. PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE
My personal favorite bit of sexually-charged dialogue comes from the movie Punch-Drunk Love starring Adam Sandler and written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. Sander plays an introverted weirdo that owns a company that markets themed toilet plungers. During the film he exploits a loophole in the promotion of a pudding company to amass a million frequent flyer miles, deals with a foul-mouthed mattress man attempting to extort him and falls in love with an equally weird woman named Lena. The pillow talk these two wonderful weirdos share is both bizarre and wonderfully romantic at the same time.
2. NORTH BY NORTHWEST
Alfred Hitchcock’s 1959 thriller North By Northwest about mistaken identity is as famous for its dramatic climax on the face of Mt. Rushmore as it is for the sometimes hilarious, undeniably sexy banter between Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint. From the moment the pair meets on a train to Chicago, the seduction begins. It quickly moves from the dining car to their personal quarters where Eva offers to lend a hand on his quest to locate the mysterious George Kaplan, the man he’s been confused with. She suggests that he stay in her hotel room in Chicago. Grant tells her that it might be dangerous, to which she responds, “I’m a big girl.” His retort is simple, “Yes… and in all the right places.”
3. CRASH
Written and directed by horror icon David Cronenberg, and based on a novel of the same name, 1996’s Crash is an odd little flick about a film producer, played by James Spader, who is living a rather disconnected and boring life with his wife. After his car collides head on with another car one evening after work, he comes to the realization that he has a very weird fetish – car accidents turn him on. Lots of weirdness follows. As the film draws to a conclusion, he and his wife are involved in a semi-deliberate accident together, and a brief but memorable bit of conversation takes place while they’re lying bloody in the grass.
4. PULP FICTION
Quentin Tarantino’s career is due heavily to the strength of his dialogue, and Pulp Fiction is his most famous example of this. Of all the fantastic exchanges in the film, it’s a particular bit of playful pillow talk between an aging boxer, played by Bruce Willis, and his girlfriend Fabienne that takes the cake for one of his most creative and still oddly arousing bits of dialogue. While rolling around in bed, they discuss a boxing match, the sexiness of pot bellies, the fact that they’re in an awful lot of danger, and whether or not they’ll give each other “oral pleasure.” Good stuff.
5. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
Directed by Ang Lee, 2005’s Brokeback Mountain stirred up an awful lot of controversy when it was first released. This was mostly because Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger were making out. The film tells the story of a couple of cowboys and their secret twenty-year long relationship on the fictional Brokeback Mountain in Wyoming. There are quite a few memorable pre and post-coital conversations as part of the couple’s various late night rendezvous’ in the wilderness – you can pretty much take your pick.
6. OUT OF SIGHT
The too-often-forgotten Out of Sight is a crime flick released in 1998, directed by Steven Soderbergh, and based on the novel of the same name by Elmore Leonard. The film tells the story of a career criminal, played by George Clooney, and a U.S. Marshall, played by Jennifer Lopez, that are forced to share a trunk together during a getaway and end up falling for each other. The heat between the two is undeniable, and their conversation in a bar before the dangerous liaison is bound to make you sweat.
7. SECRETARY
There’s no actual “sex” taking place in Secretary, but there might as well be. Released in 2002, Secretary stars Maggie Gyllenhaal as a socially awkward, overly sensitive girl that takes a job as a secretary to a rather peculiar attorney played by James Spader. Maggie sucks at her job, and while Spader seems annoyed with her constant typos at first, it doesn’t take long for us to realize that the annoyance is actually arousal. He likes his ladies meek and submissive, and Maggie fills the bill. When James invites her into his office for the scene in question, he not only tells her that the typos will no longer be tolerated, but gives her a good spanking as well. Like I said, not exactly sex, but pretty darn close.
8. GONE WITH THE WIND
Released in 1939 and based on Margaret Mitchell’s novel of the same name, Gone With the Wind is one of most enduring romances in the history of American cinema. The character of flirty, pretty, headstrong Scarlett, played by Vivien Leigh, spends years pining for a man by the name of Ashley Wilkes only to discover that he’s already declared his love for another. Everything changes when Rhett Butler arrives on the scene though. The banter the pair share on the stairs before he picks her up and carries her away for a romp is the stuff of legends. “Scarlett. You’ve turned me out while you chased Ashley Wilkes, while you dreamed of Ashley Wilkes. This is one night you’re not turning me out.”
9. CHINATOWN
In Roman Polanski’s 1974 neo-noir classic Chinatown, Jack Nicholson plays a private investigator that’s hired to perform surveillance on the chief engineer for the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power. There are some twists, some turns, and a few zig-zags as far as the plot is concerned, and eventually Jack ends up in bed with the chief engineer’s wife, played by Faye Dunaway. During the sharing of a cigarette during post-coital bliss, the pair strike up a conversation about Jack’s past. The subtle looks between them speak more than the actual words do.
10. YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN
Some might argue that the exchange between Peter Boyle’s monster and Madeline Kahn’s tightly-wound Elizabeth in Mel Brook’s 1974 film Young Frankenstein is not a “conversation.” What is communicated, however, is undeniable. The monster does little more than grunt and drop his pants, which prompts a rather surprised Elizabeth to respond with an extremely telling, “woof.” Moments later she’s singing at the top of her lungs. Who doesn’t understand the language of lust?
11. DEMOLITION MAN
The highly underrated Demolition Man offers a lot more than just really cool action (though there’s a lot of that too). There are some not-too-shabby bits of comedy, and what is easily one of the most unique pre-coital sex conversations in the history of cinema. Sylvester Stallone stars as a cop from the past that wakes up in the future to hunt down a dangerous criminal. He’s partnered with a naive future cop played by a remarkably sexy Sandra Bullock. For Stallone, the future proves to be an awfully confusing world, and sex a far different act then he remembered. When Bullock suggests they engage in the act, she puts on the theme from The Love Boat, and straps a gold helmet to his head.
12. BOUND
Bound is a crazy-sexy film released in 1996 and directed by the Wachowski Brothers of The Matrix fame (believe it or not). The movie tells the story of a woman, played by an obscenely sexy Jennifer Tilly, who’s searching for a way out of her current relationship. She meets an eternally sweaty ex-con played by Gina Gershon, and the pair conjures up a scheme to steal $2 million in mafia money. Oh, and they also have a lot of sex. During a heavy flirting session, the girls talk of tattoos and experimenting while dropping some innuendos that are about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the back of the head.
Pillow Talks: Nightmare
Pillow Talks: Buttlove
Watch more episodes of Pillow Talks.
Steven Novak is a writer, illustrator, graphic designer and admitted lifelong nerd with an embarrassingly large DVD collection. He is currently working and living in the Southern California desert. His most recent fantasy/action adventure novel, “Forts: Fathers and Sons,” is available everywhere books are sold.