The 13 Sexiest Moments in Vampire History7
By Steven Novak
The 13 Sexiest Moments in Vampire History
Who ever thought that a cold, dead, blood-sucking nightwalker would turn out, over the course of history, to be lauded as one of the sexiest creatures to walk this earth – day or night? Who is this sexbomb incarnate? The Vampire. Super sexy vampires, like the 13 bloody ladies featured in KoldCast TV’s newest blood-sucking series Vampire Killers, are a staple of entertainment for any generation. In the search for food, sex or love, vampires have shown that they have needs too. To prove it, we’ve compiled a list of the hottest, sexiest, most sweat-inducing, heart-racing, blood-pumping scenes in the history of vampire cinema.
Vampire Killers, Episode 1, Charlotte Ross
1. Lesbian sex in The Hunger
In recent years, director Tony Scott has become best known for his mostly crummy, Denzel Washington action flicks. Back in 1993, however, he took the helm of a bizarre little vampire movie with Susan Sarandon, Catherine Deneuve, and singer-songwriter, David Bowie. The Hunger is crammed with more strange imagery and sex than you can wiggle a vampire sex stick at, but the sexiest moment of all comes when Sarandon and Deneuve get naked and get down to lovin’.
2. The Queen of the Damned Bathtub Scene
Queen of the Damned, the sequel to Interview with a Vampire and the adaptation of the third book in Anne Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles series, isn’t really all that great of a movie. It does, however, have a few redeeming qualities, and one of them is the film debut of its sexy star, the late Aaliyah, as Queen Akasha. Throw Aaliyah in a bathtub filled with roses with Stuart Townsend, and you’ve got yourself some lusty vampires… and humans.
3. Louis’ Transformation in Interview with a Vampire
Since we’re on the subject of Anne Rice novels, the adaptation of her Interview with a Vampire novel throws Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt into the leading roles of the vampire Lestat and his on again off again lover-friend Louis. The transformation of Louis from human into the immortal undead is both a bit awkward and extremely sexually charged as Pitt and Cruise get as close to having sex as they can while remaining fully clothed and never once mashing genitals.
4. The Count and Lucy in Bram Stoker’s Dracula
In 1992, Francis Ford Coppola produced and directed an adaptation of Bram Stoker’s classic novel, starring Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, and Gary Oldman as the Count himself. There’s a whole lot of sexiness here – so much that it was difficult to narrow down a scene to single out. In the end it was Drac’s attack/seduction of Lucy Westerna (played by Sadie Frost) that won the day. Why? There’s a whole lot of action going on under those sheets.
5. Jami Gertz in the den of The Lost Boys
Though The Lost Boys is hardly what anyone would consider a sexually-charged sex filled romp, the heat radiating between Jason Patric (Michael Emerson) and Jami Gertz (Star) is undeniable even in its briefness. It almost makes Michael forget why he’s so mad that he’s a vampire… wouldn’t you? Plus, The Lost Boys is one of the better vampire movies ever made.
6. Underworld Evolution sex scene
Like The Lost Boys, the Underworld series doesn’t exactly ooze sexual tension as much as it does cool action. It’s lead actress, Kate Beckinsale (Selene), and her skin-tight leather that create the sense of sexy man-eaters on the prowl. The moment in which Selene and Michael (played by Scott Speedman) finally get together in the second film in the series is as sexy as you’re likely to find, and was an instant addition to the list.
7. Paris Je T’aime vampire transformation
Paris, Je T’aime (which translates to Paris, I Love You) is a movie consisting of 18 short films by 22 different directors, and at first glance you might think has absolutely nothing to do with vampires. For the most part, you’d be right – with one single exception – Quartier de la Madeleine by Canadian writer-director Vincenzo Natali. In this short, Elijah Wood takes part in a sometimes sexy, sometimes gross game of cat and mouse with a sometimes sexy, sometimes really sexy, vampire played by Olga Kurylenko.
8. Buffy has sex with Spike
As the first television offering on our list, this sexiest moment comes courtesy of Joss Whedon’s Buffy The Vampire Slayer. As one of Buffy’s most dangerous enemies, James Marsters’ Spike spent most of his time making life difficult for Sarah Michelle Gellar. It was this history of hatred that made it all the sexier when the pair finally decided to ruffle the sheets a bit… and destroy the room they were in.
9. Bill and Sookie’s first time on True Blood
Though one of them is 25 and the other is 173, it did nothing to lessen the undeniable sexiness of the first time True Blood’s Bill and Sookie did the horizontal vampire mambo. In fact, it probably helped. When his fangs came out after Gran’s funeral, she not only agreed to let him bite her, but was begging him to.
10. Fright Night bite
If you’ve never seen or even heard of 1985’s Tom Holland directed Fright Night, you might be a bit surprised to see it on the list. Heck, even if you have seen it you might be surprised – because it’s essentially a comedy. You might be even more surprised to learn that it’s on the list due to a sexy little scene between a vampire and none other than Married With Children’s annoying neighbor Amanda Bearse. I have a sinking feeling all that surprise will go right out the window after you watch the scene though.
11. Vampire Priest gets it on in Thirst
In my opinion, Chan-wook Park’s Thirst is by far and away the best vampire movie to make it onto our sexy vampire moments list. It’s beautifully shot, it’s strange, it’s layered and dense and bloody, and it brings something fresh to a genre in which freshness is difficult. It also features one of the most odd and strangely sexy sex scenes you’ll ever see. This one’s between a priest that’s been turned into a vampire through an accidental transfusion and a timid waif that’s actually not very timid. More than any scene on the list, this one will stick with you.
12. Vampyros Lesbos copulation scene
With a name like Vampyros Lesbos, this 1971 German made, Jesus Franco-directed bit of naughty vampire goodness was a shoe-in for a spot on our list of sexy vampire moments. This story – about a sultry nightclub in Istanbul, a beautiful woman, and vampire lesbianism galore – has been called the “Citizen Kane of European exploitation.” There’s a lot worth mentioning in terms of sexiness here. At the top of the list, however, has to be the copulation scene, which shows so much skin some users had to get creative in order to get it on the internet.
13. Salma Hayek Dances in From Dusk Till Dawn
There’s not an ounce of sex in the scene taking top honors in our little list, and the lack of sex does absolutely nothing to halt the torrential downpour of sexiness oozing from every sexy vampire sex pore. In 1996’s Robert Rodriguez directed From Dusk Till Dawn, a curvaceous vampire played by Salma Hayek wraps a snake around her neck, walks onto the stage in a dusty bar, and dances in such a way that it gives new meaning to the word sexy (oh yeah, and there is a slaughter that follows). This is the kind of vampire you’re all too happy to let bite you – any number of times.
Vampire Killers, Episode 2, The Feeding
Steven Novak is a writer, illustrator, graphic designer and admitted lifelong nerd with an embarrassingly large DVD collection. He is currently working and living in the Southern California desert. His most recent fantasy/action adventure novel, “Forts: Fathers and Sons,” is available everywhere books are sold.