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We can’t possibly know what will or won’t scare kids. Sure, you could lock them in at school and let a killer loose like in the series Throwing Stones, but that would be too easy. Can a cartoon villain conjure up fear like a real one can? How about furry bunnies? A magical candy factory couldn’t possibly evoke the same feelings as a haunted house, could it?
Anything is possible. Kids are afraid of all sorts of things they shouldn’t be – like mall Santas, clowns and those flimsy air men that dance around outside car dealerships. We all have childhood memories of that “kiddie” movie that struck fear, not glee, into our imaginative and impressionable hearts. Still having nightmares about Willy Wonka’s glass elevator shattering into a million little pieces and leaving you to die in a heap of everlasting gobstoppers?
Throwing Stones – Don’t You Forget About Me
1. Little Monsters (1989)
Aside from Monsters, Inc., has there ever been a movie with Monsters in the title that has been appropriate for kids? Monster House? Maybe. Monster’s Ball? Up for debate. Little Monsters plays with the world that resides beneath everyone’s bed – the place where Howie Mandel and friends live when they’re not terrorizing the youth of America. The real terror in this movie comes near the end, when Boy (played by Frank Whaley) removes his face. That’s right… his face.
2. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
Speaking of faces… George Lucas originally envisioned Raiders of the Lost Ark as a throwback to the comic books he enjoyed as a kid. And as we know, Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Larry Kasdan were wildly successful in doing that. One thing they didn’t factor in, however, is that a man’s face melting off is mildly frightening in the single-panel of a comic book but downright horrifying when put on the big screen.
3. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988)
Speaking of men’s faces melting off, we can’t think of a scene that’s unnerved us more than the finale of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Up to that point, Eddie Valiant (played by Bob Hoskins) has taken part in cartoonish exploits around Los Angeles with his good friend, a funny talking rabbit. Sure, there was that scene where the shoe gets the dip, but that was more sad than terrifying. Then Judge Doom (Christopher Lloyd) gets run over by a steamroller and everything changes. The minute he picks himself up off the floor begins a five-minute nightmare sequence, every frame burned into our psyche.
4. Monster Squad (1987)
We get why Universal made Monster Squad. They had the rights to all these classic movie monsters – why not make a movie that includes all of them? They just didn’t put it together that one monster is scary enough for kids – forget putting all of them on screen at the same time! It’s monster overload. We liked it way better when they were free agents and didn’t work together to eat us.
5. Up (2009)
The truth is a scary thing, especially when it pertains to death. Carl Frederickson (Ed Asner) and his wife Elle want nothing more than to journey to South America, the place where their hero, Charles F. Muntz, (Christopher Plummer) resides. But Elle never gets there. Why? Because she gets sick and dies. That’s it, kids. Grandma died having not done a lot of stuff she wanted to do. Better get used to that idea.
6. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
The trip through the tunnel is widely known to be batshit crazy. Part of why Willy Wonka’s (Gene Wilder) meandering poetry-slam is so scary is because, not only does it come out of nowhere, it comes directly after a scene in which children are eating gumdrops off of candy trees. It’s like the filmmakers wanted to lull kids into a sense of false comfort just so they could slam them with the biggest what-the-hell boat ride in a long history of what-the-hell boat rides. No one knows where this boat is going, Wonka. But it’s probably going to end with a wet bed or two.
7. The Secret of NIMH (1982)
As kids, we’re all for little furry mice working against the big bad humans. You know, because we haven’t owned property yet and don’t realize how awful it is to have a rodent infestation. What we’re not on board for is genetically-altered super rodents who shoot lightening bolts out of their fingers and some genuinely frightening imagery involving a spooky old owl. High fantasy is great and all, and then there are things that are just too much.
8. Watership Down (1978)
Bunnies! We love bunnies! But these aren’t your average bunnies. These are bunnies with sentience. They live in a dog-eat-bunny world… and sometimes a bunny-eat-bunny world. There’s no fluffy fun going on here, just rabbits trying to survive. Oh, they get to go to rabbit heaven? Too late, Watership. We’ve decided to get a cat instead.
9. The Witches (1990)
How many slumber parties have you ruined, Roald Dahl? First you gave us the boat ride through hell in Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory and now you’re dumping The Witches on us? No one wants to see bald women with long noses running around turning children into mice. No one. And we really don’t want to see the witches turn into mice, either. We just want a quiet evening of eating pizza and not staring out the window every time we hear a sound or see an old lady wearing square-tipped shoes. Thank you.
10. Hocus Pocus (1993)
We thought Hocus Pocus was pretty tame… right up until the moment where Bette Midler starts singing “I Put a Spell on You” to an audience of adults at a Halloween Party. Who is this demon songstress who’s tempting our parents away from their responsibilities? How are they powerless to her fiery-haired charms and warbling voice? A world without parents is not the utopia we want it to be. Who will make us sandwiches and give us Robitussin? Stay away from this vaudeville witch! Listen to reason, Mom and Dad! Go back to Kenny Loggins!
Tom Chandler was born and raised in a small town outside Seattle. He’s currently writing a screenplay about two robots striving to reform the American educational system.
“Watership Down” never was a kids story. Just because it had animated bunnies did not make it for children. “The Dark Crystal” was made for children yet disturbed them tremendously.
Rock_X
Awesome list. Instantly thought Roger Rabbit when I read the title and Bam! There is was. Cool inclusion of Watership Down. I mean, that was like Texas Chainsaw Massacre when I was a little’un.
hellbible
the witches is a little scary for me
gwalla
You put in Raiders, which isn’t even normally mistaken for a kids’ movie (Watership Down, at least, is frequently misfiled in the children’s section on account of being animated), but you don’t include Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, with Large Marge, or Time Bandits, with that really disturbing ending (after what had been a pretty silly kiddie-adventure romp)?
Paul
First, as others have mentioned, “Watership Down” is not a children’s movie. Second, none of these is too frightening for children. I mean, you think “Monster Squad” is too scary for children? Why not include “The Wizard of Oz” too? — In that movie the audience is expected to celebrate the adventures of a thieving, double-murderer. PS @gwalla — neither “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” nor “Time Bandits” were kids movies, unless you’re including young teens as kids.
http://www.wordflow.webs.com Invisible_Jester25
Just four words.
The Brave Little Toaster.
bobbie
Those were literally all of my favorite movies when I was a kid! They may be a little creepy, but that was the fun. Don’t exclude these great movies just because they are a little scary – just teach your child the difference between right vs wrong and fantasy vs reality.
demoncat
can not believe watership down was not higher on this list espically the scene where the deranged rabbit attacks. nightmare and therapy there. plus would have included return to oz the wheelies and the heads.
Paperspeds
How is it that Return to OZ is not on this list. That’s the only movie to ever scare me.
Carlton
Watership down definately should be number one. the blood n gore will scare kids n unnerve adults alike. its horrfic in every way possible
Amy
… But Who Framed Roger Rabbit ISN’T a kid’s movie. Sure, little kids can watch it, but the intended audience wasn’t for children.
Amy
… But Who Framed Roger Rabbit ISN’T a kid’s movie. Sure, little kids can watch it, but the intended audience wasn’t for children.
Finding the appropriate person to teach the rich and spoiled Leon Wong manners and proper social behavior is not as easy as it seems. Have a peek at some of the colorful competition that Mr. French beat out for the lucrative job!
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10 Kids Movies Way Too Scary for Kids13
By Thomas Chandler, May 03, 2011 in Pop Culture
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10 Kids Movies Way Too Scary for Kids
We can’t possibly know what will or won’t scare kids. Sure, you could lock them in at school and let a killer loose like in the series Throwing Stones, but that would be too easy. Can a cartoon villain conjure up fear like a real one can? How about furry bunnies? A magical candy factory couldn’t possibly evoke the same feelings as a haunted house, could it?
Anything is possible. Kids are afraid of all sorts of things they shouldn’t be – like mall Santas, clowns and those flimsy air men that dance around outside car dealerships. We all have childhood memories of that “kiddie” movie that struck fear, not glee, into our imaginative and impressionable hearts. Still having nightmares about Willy Wonka’s glass elevator shattering into a million little pieces and leaving you to die in a heap of everlasting gobstoppers?
Throwing Stones – Don’t You Forget About Me
1. Little Monsters (1989)
Aside from Monsters, Inc., has there ever been a movie with Monsters in the title that has been appropriate for kids? Monster House? Maybe. Monster’s Ball? Up for debate. Little Monsters plays with the world that resides beneath everyone’s bed – the place where Howie Mandel and friends live when they’re not terrorizing the youth of America. The real terror in this movie comes near the end, when Boy (played by Frank Whaley) removes his face. That’s right… his face.
2. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
Speaking of faces… George Lucas originally envisioned Raiders of the Lost Ark as a throwback to the comic books he enjoyed as a kid. And as we know, Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Larry Kasdan were wildly successful in doing that. One thing they didn’t factor in, however, is that a man’s face melting off is mildly frightening in the single-panel of a comic book but downright horrifying when put on the big screen.
3. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988)
Speaking of men’s faces melting off, we can’t think of a scene that’s unnerved us more than the finale of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Up to that point, Eddie Valiant (played by Bob Hoskins) has taken part in cartoonish exploits around Los Angeles with his good friend, a funny talking rabbit. Sure, there was that scene where the shoe gets the dip, but that was more sad than terrifying. Then Judge Doom (Christopher Lloyd) gets run over by a steamroller and everything changes. The minute he picks himself up off the floor begins a five-minute nightmare sequence, every frame burned into our psyche.
4. Monster Squad (1987)
We get why Universal made Monster Squad. They had the rights to all these classic movie monsters – why not make a movie that includes all of them? They just didn’t put it together that one monster is scary enough for kids – forget putting all of them on screen at the same time! It’s monster overload. We liked it way better when they were free agents and didn’t work together to eat us.
5. Up (2009)
The truth is a scary thing, especially when it pertains to death. Carl Frederickson (Ed Asner) and his wife Elle want nothing more than to journey to South America, the place where their hero, Charles F. Muntz, (Christopher Plummer) resides. But Elle never gets there. Why? Because she gets sick and dies. That’s it, kids. Grandma died having not done a lot of stuff she wanted to do. Better get used to that idea.
6. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
The trip through the tunnel is widely known to be batshit crazy. Part of why Willy Wonka’s (Gene Wilder) meandering poetry-slam is so scary is because, not only does it come out of nowhere, it comes directly after a scene in which children are eating gumdrops off of candy trees. It’s like the filmmakers wanted to lull kids into a sense of false comfort just so they could slam them with the biggest what-the-hell boat ride in a long history of what-the-hell boat rides. No one knows where this boat is going, Wonka. But it’s probably going to end with a wet bed or two.
7. The Secret of NIMH (1982)
As kids, we’re all for little furry mice working against the big bad humans. You know, because we haven’t owned property yet and don’t realize how awful it is to have a rodent infestation. What we’re not on board for is genetically-altered super rodents who shoot lightening bolts out of their fingers and some genuinely frightening imagery involving a spooky old owl. High fantasy is great and all, and then there are things that are just too much.
8. Watership Down (1978)
Bunnies! We love bunnies! But these aren’t your average bunnies. These are bunnies with sentience. They live in a dog-eat-bunny world… and sometimes a bunny-eat-bunny world. There’s no fluffy fun going on here, just rabbits trying to survive. Oh, they get to go to rabbit heaven? Too late, Watership. We’ve decided to get a cat instead.
9. The Witches (1990)
How many slumber parties have you ruined, Roald Dahl? First you gave us the boat ride through hell in Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory and now you’re dumping The Witches on us? No one wants to see bald women with long noses running around turning children into mice. No one. And we really don’t want to see the witches turn into mice, either. We just want a quiet evening of eating pizza and not staring out the window every time we hear a sound or see an old lady wearing square-tipped shoes. Thank you.
10. Hocus Pocus (1993)
We thought Hocus Pocus was pretty tame… right up until the moment where Bette Midler starts singing “I Put a Spell on You” to an audience of adults at a Halloween Party. Who is this demon songstress who’s tempting our parents away from their responsibilities? How are they powerless to her fiery-haired charms and warbling voice? A world without parents is not the utopia we want it to be. Who will make us sandwiches and give us Robitussin? Stay away from this vaudeville witch! Listen to reason, Mom and Dad! Go back to Kenny Loggins!
Throwing Stones – Can You Hear Me Now
Throwing Stones – Broken Window Theory
Watch more episodes of the teen horror series THROWING STONES
Tom Chandler was born and raised in a small town outside Seattle. He’s currently writing a screenplay about two robots striving to reform the American educational system.