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Marriage is hard. Even when you really care about someone, you fight, disagree, and misunderstand each other over and over again. Sometimes, you feel like giving up all together.
For an honest look at the ups and downs of marriage, check out the series Patrick and Molly and All the Small Things. Through their eyes, we see all the little things that can make relationships go wrong, and all the small things that make them worth holding on to. There is a lot of truth to take away from Patrick and Molly. However, most fictional couples are built on common misconceptions and myths about marriage. Here are some of the most common.
Patrick and Molly and All the Small Things – Werewolves
Sexless City
Thanks to standups and sitcoms, sex in marriage sounds like a rare occurrence if it even happens at all. However, studies show that married people not only have more sex than their single counterparts, they enjoy it more as well.
We Live Too Long to Make it Work
One of the arguments against long-term monogamous relationships goes like this:
In the past, people didn’t live as long. So it’s no wonder they were able to stay together for the rest of their lives. Their lives were so short.
Many things about this are false. We do tend to live a little bit longer than our grandparents but not by decades. Also, people today tend to get married later in life, so the increased lifespan is offset by delayed marriage. Finally, most divorces occur within seven years of marriage. With such short nuptials, lifespan doesn’t even begin to enter into the equation.
Living Together First Will Make it Last
It seems logical to think that a trial run at something will make the real thing more successful. Consequently, many people think that cohabitating before marriage will prove that a couple can bear living with each other forever, thus ensuring a successful marriage. However, repeated studies show the exact opposite to be true. Experts theorize that this is the case because people who live together without getting married may really be hiding their commitment phobia. So, instead of just getting married, they hedge their bets with something halfway there. When they do get married, and things get tough, they’re more likely to split up sooner.
Birth Will Bring Rebirth
When things get tough, lots of couples consider having a baby – thinking that coming together to create new life will bring them closer. More often than not, it doesn’t work out that way. With a baby comes tremendous stress, and if a relationship isn’t solid at conception, it likely will not get better when the birthday arrives.
Instant Chemistry + a BFF = <3
People often claim they want sparks to fly right away. They want their life partner to be their best friend. If it’s not easy, then it obviously isn’t meant to be. But marriage is about more than that. Commitment to the marriage itself and a willingness to dig in and problem solve is what makes relationships last. Like getting in shape, learning a language, or mastering a skill, marriage takes daily practice and focus. It’s NOT easy, but you do get better at it.
You’ll Never Be Lonely Again
With someone to share a bed, a home, and a life, many people think that being married will cure any loneliness. The truth is, however, loneliness isn’t about how physically close someone is to you but how emotionally close he or she is. It’s not about how many people are around, but how well you can relate to those people. Consequently, many married people still experience loneliness.
Only Bad People Cheat/Cheating Only Happens in Bad Marriages
One of the hardest things for any couple to overcome is infidelity. Because it can be so painful, it’s easy to write off the cheater as a horrible person who doesn’t care about anyone but himself or herself. While terrible, selfish people do exist, cheating happens for all kinds of reasons and in all kinds of relationships.
Two Become One and Only One
It’s great when your partner takes an interest in your life and does things that you enjoy. But many people take this to an extreme and expect their partner to be with them 100% of the time. To make a marriage successful, spouses do not need to do everything together. They do not need to like all of the same things. It is both healthy and appropriate for spouses to have different interests and spend time apart. If you enjoy doing things together, that’s wonderful, but no partner should ever feel obligated to do everything exactly to their partner’s ideal.
You Should Never Argue
Conflict resolution isn’t the most romantic sounding activity so many people try to avoid it all together. In fact, lots of people think that if you’re really “in love” or if it is “meant to be,” then you should never argue with your partner. But the truth is that when two people do anything together, there will inevitably be some disagreement. As long as you argue to resolve the issue and don’t just fight to win, conflict can be helpful, allow you to learn about your partner, and help you to ultimately grow closer.
You Will Never Be Attracted to Anyone Else
It’s marriage, not death. Just like you still appreciate a good TV show even when you have a favorite on demand, you’re going to still find other people attractive. It’s not the attraction that is the problem; it’s what you do about it. It’s best to neither act on new attraction nor freak out about it. Just accept it as part of life and get home for some of that fulfilling marital snogging.
Aydrea Walden ten Bosch, a former news reporter, has also written for Nickelodeon, NBC/Universal, Hawaii Film Partners, Highlander Films, the Now Write! Screenwriting book series, Improv Olympic, The Second City Los Angeles and Disney. She regularly performs sketch and improv comedy and runs the satirical blog, The Oreo Experience, about her life and times as a super white black person.
Finding the appropriate person to teach the rich and spoiled Leon Wong manners and proper social behavior is not as easy as it seems. Have a peek at some of the colorful competition that Mr. French beat out for the lucrative job!
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Marriage Myths and Misconceptions1
By Aydrea Walden, Sep 06, 2011 in Offbeat
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Marriage is hard. Even when you really care about someone, you fight, disagree, and misunderstand each other over and over again. Sometimes, you feel like giving up all together.
For an honest look at the ups and downs of marriage, check out the series Patrick and Molly and All the Small Things. Through their eyes, we see all the little things that can make relationships go wrong, and all the small things that make them worth holding on to. There is a lot of truth to take away from Patrick and Molly. However, most fictional couples are built on common misconceptions and myths about marriage. Here are some of the most common.
Patrick and Molly and All the Small Things – Werewolves
Sexless City
Thanks to standups and sitcoms, sex in marriage sounds like a rare occurrence if it even happens at all. However, studies show that married people not only have more sex than their single counterparts, they enjoy it more as well.
We Live Too Long to Make it Work
One of the arguments against long-term monogamous relationships goes like this:
In the past, people didn’t live as long. So it’s no wonder they were able to stay together for the rest of their lives. Their lives were so short.
Many things about this are false. We do tend to live a little bit longer than our grandparents but not by decades. Also, people today tend to get married later in life, so the increased lifespan is offset by delayed marriage. Finally, most divorces occur within seven years of marriage. With such short nuptials, lifespan doesn’t even begin to enter into the equation.
Living Together First Will Make it Last
It seems logical to think that a trial run at something will make the real thing more successful. Consequently, many people think that cohabitating before marriage will prove that a couple can bear living with each other forever, thus ensuring a successful marriage. However, repeated studies show the exact opposite to be true. Experts theorize that this is the case because people who live together without getting married may really be hiding their commitment phobia. So, instead of just getting married, they hedge their bets with something halfway there. When they do get married, and things get tough, they’re more likely to split up sooner.
Birth Will Bring Rebirth
When things get tough, lots of couples consider having a baby – thinking that coming together to create new life will bring them closer. More often than not, it doesn’t work out that way. With a baby comes tremendous stress, and if a relationship isn’t solid at conception, it likely will not get better when the birthday arrives.
Instant Chemistry + a BFF = <3
People often claim they want sparks to fly right away. They want their life partner to be their best friend. If it’s not easy, then it obviously isn’t meant to be. But marriage is about more than that. Commitment to the marriage itself and a willingness to dig in and problem solve is what makes relationships last. Like getting in shape, learning a language, or mastering a skill, marriage takes daily practice and focus. It’s NOT easy, but you do get better at it.
You’ll Never Be Lonely Again
With someone to share a bed, a home, and a life, many people think that being married will cure any loneliness. The truth is, however, loneliness isn’t about how physically close someone is to you but how emotionally close he or she is. It’s not about how many people are around, but how well you can relate to those people. Consequently, many married people still experience loneliness.
Only Bad People Cheat/Cheating Only Happens in Bad Marriages
One of the hardest things for any couple to overcome is infidelity. Because it can be so painful, it’s easy to write off the cheater as a horrible person who doesn’t care about anyone but himself or herself. While terrible, selfish people do exist, cheating happens for all kinds of reasons and in all kinds of relationships.
Two Become One and Only One
It’s great when your partner takes an interest in your life and does things that you enjoy. But many people take this to an extreme and expect their partner to be with them 100% of the time. To make a marriage successful, spouses do not need to do everything together. They do not need to like all of the same things. It is both healthy and appropriate for spouses to have different interests and spend time apart. If you enjoy doing things together, that’s wonderful, but no partner should ever feel obligated to do everything exactly to their partner’s ideal.
You Should Never Argue
Conflict resolution isn’t the most romantic sounding activity so many people try to avoid it all together. In fact, lots of people think that if you’re really “in love” or if it is “meant to be,” then you should never argue with your partner. But the truth is that when two people do anything together, there will inevitably be some disagreement. As long as you argue to resolve the issue and don’t just fight to win, conflict can be helpful, allow you to learn about your partner, and help you to ultimately grow closer.
You Will Never Be Attracted to Anyone Else
It’s marriage, not death. Just like you still appreciate a good TV show even when you have a favorite on demand, you’re going to still find other people attractive. It’s not the attraction that is the problem; it’s what you do about it. It’s best to neither act on new attraction nor freak out about it. Just accept it as part of life and get home for some of that fulfilling marital snogging.
READ: 10 Love Lessons Gleaned From Fatal Attraction
Patrick and Molly and All the Small Things – Big Ass
Patrick and Molly and All the Small Things – Testosteroni
Watch more episodes of the marital comedy PATRICK AND MOLLY AND ALL THE SMALL THINGS
Aydrea Walden ten Bosch, a former news reporter, has also written for Nickelodeon, NBC/Universal, Hawaii Film Partners, Highlander Films, the Now Write! Screenwriting book series, Improv Olympic, The Second City Los Angeles and Disney. She regularly performs sketch and improv comedy and runs the satirical blog, The Oreo Experience, about her life and times as a super white black person.