Conspiracy is for the Birds: Four Things Happening Right Now Inching Us Towards Doomsday

By Dan Berry

The end is near. That’s what “they” like to say. And they’ve been saying it for years —so much so that we just roll our eyes and smile at the loveably crazy curmudgeons spouting their silly conspiracy theories and preposterous prophesies. But lately, it’s looking like “they” might actually be right.

See the thing is, “they” are changing. Not all doomsday prophets are smelly old bearded men donnning cardboard vest signs on the corner of a city street. They are becoming more reputable. Some are like Tyranny’s Daniel McCarthy, an educated, once easygoing San Francisco artist who volunteered for a grad student’s neurological experiment.

You are watching Episode 1, “The Beginning of the End”, of Tyranny

Watch Episode 2, “Evaluation”

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KoldCast TV’s international conspiracy thriller takes audiences on a terrifying and exhilarating journey as Daniel investigates his premonitions of a future in which millions upon millions of people have been killed off and nonexistant corporations have become the most powerful entities on earth.

Numerous factors, including economic policies, war, societal changes, and advancements in technology have the potential to swiftly propel us towards Armageddon. And sadly, taking shelter will only prove an effort in futility, for Doomsday is both inevitable and imminent. Much like the newspaper business, the world as we know it may be on its way out. But who will be the horseman heralding this Apocalypse? The time has come to cast stones. Welcome to the End of Days.

Scene from Tyranny

Bird Flu 2.0

Now, I know what you’re thinking: bird flu is, like, so 2005. But much like Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the rest of the senior citizen all-stars from The Expendables movies, H1N1 has made one hell of a comeback. Rather than settling into retirement like a few other nasty diseases, the virus has been juicing hard, falling asleep on the bench press and has bulked up to epic proportions. So break out the popcorn and prepare to be blown away by bird flu 2.0…

In 2011, developer Ron Fouchier of Erasmus Medical Center in Rotterdam, Netherlands, headed a study into bird flu in hopes of creating a vaccine. Supported by a touted team of scientists, Fouchier focused on what it took to convert the avian affliction—which proves deadly to half those infected, but does not spread easily—into a highly contagious virus. And thus, the quest for an antidote resulted in a pathogenic organism that makes anthrax look like powdered Kool-Aid.

H5N1, or “Armageddon bird flu,” forced the United States government to immediately issue a strict warning to the Dutch scientists (while also causing countless more Asian chicks to start sporting those silly construction masks on the subways). Obama’s boys feared releasing the details could eradicate millions of lives if the super-strain were used as a weapon of biological warfare.

Impeded in unprecedented fashion by the National Science Advisory Board for Biosecurity, the virologist developers cordially agreed not to publish their findings in U.S. Journal Science. But in the next breath, the absent-minded professors dropped a bomb, revealing the data had already been shared with hundreds of researchers. “Armageddon bird flu” had taken flight. Any kook with a kick-ass chemistry kit can start cooking now that the logistics have been leaked.

Daniel McCarthy, the central character in Tyranny, under interrogation

Aggravated Aliens

Back in the 80s, the US military bombarded Noreaga’s compound in Nicaragua with Metalica songs in an effort to draw him out of his compound. The plan worked. The incessant noise drove ol’ pineapple-face nuts. So, with that in mind, how is an ET going to feel after spending several million light years listening to NASA’s compilation of music, speeches and sophisticated static designed to inspire first contact? Even good noise becomes a major irritant and by the time they reach earth they’ll be banging their heads against the walls of their UFOs, furious and hell-bent on shoving a probe the size of Cincinnati up every single earthling’s anus.

The Shadow Man, in Tyranny

Snooki

And we wonder why other countries hate us. Maybe it’s because while they’re starving, we’re making millionaires out of drunken midgets who spend more time on their knees than a devout Catholic in mass. Watching people like Snooki on shows like Jersey Shore makes me understand why the chances are good that some radical relgious fanatic will eventually succeed in setting off a nuclear device on U.S. soil… which, naturally, will force us to retaliate. That’s right, folks. It won’t take Mathew Broderick playing with a computer to plunge the planet into thermonuclear war, causing us to live out our days in a post-apocalyptic wasteland with Mad Max and his endless arsenal of offensive Jewish jokes. No, it’ll be Snooki who’s to blame.

Daniel is prepared by Edson for an experiment, in Tyranny

North Korea & The Little Man Complex

As one of the world’s largest fresh fruit producers, it should come as no surprise that in North Korea, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Too bad it’s poisoned.

Kim Jong-un was plucked from relative obscurity and declared the supreme leader of North Korea following the death of his father, Kim Jong-il, in December 2011. Instantly transformed into the world’s youngest head of state, he was immediately saddled with lofty expectations. His old man had generally been considered the craziest man alive, and that’s a lot to live up to, but Jong-un has already shown an equal zeal for human rights violations, while “bolstering” his “military credentials” with assumed involvement in the bombardment of Yeonpyyeong and the sinking of the Cheonan.

With hardly six months on the job, Lil’ Kim has also shown staunch defiance to the super-powers. He alarmed and alienated the Obama administration by putting North Korea on the fast track to developing a nuclear warhead capable of striking the United States, and shocked everyone when he flipped the bird to sole economic backer China by scoffing at a direct warning and carrying out a ballistic missile test. Now, the gang in D.C. and the Chinese government agree Jong-un’s will follow in daddy’s footsteps and carry out a nuclear test, which will be North Korea’s third… and assuredly not the last.

Daniel’s discovery inside an abandones Soviet mine

The conspiracy takes Daniel to breathtaking locations around the world (Prague)

Dan Berry began writing and performing stand-up comedy while a student at New York University, and has since appeared in clubs and on college campuses nationwide, as well as on radio and television. The warped mind behind internationally-acclaimed “The Prison Kite” and the upcoming HBO project “The Bid,” Dan has served as a network staff writer and is also co-author of the soon-to-be-released non-fiction novel “Madoff Uncuffed,” which documents Bernie Madoff’s first year behind bars. In his spare time, Dan serves as a professional drinking buddy and amateur astronaut.