Definitely a Treat: Five Must-See Horror Internet TV Shows
By Dan Berry
Attention all would-be ghosts, goblins, and ghouls. The witching hour is quite literally upon us as Halloween has officially arrived today. If you’re reading this from somewhere along the East Coast, there’s a decent chance that old witch Sandy knocked out your trick-or-treating plans and you’re with us via preciously allocated laptop battery life.
We’ll, you’ve surfed to the right house. All Hallow’s Eve is still in full force on KoldCast TV’s Horror Channel, where shivers are transmitted down your spine from the comfort of your small screen. This year, we’ve handpicked the creepiest Internet TV horror shows for a truly mixed bag of treats.
There are macabre cartoons unfit for children, a comedy of terrors, and even musically inclined horror, all sure to keep you awake through the night, but without the sugar rush. Perhaps the year’s most highly anticipated Internet horror series is Season 2 of MALICE, premiering today only on KoldCast TV!
You are watching the Season 2 Premiere of MALICE!
Grab your significant other’s arm and hold on tight. These must-see horror shows have a funny way of making people jump out of their seats…
When last we saw them in Season 1, the Turner family had packed up and moved to the country, taking up residence in an old, rustic house in an attempt to reboot their troubled lives. However, the ancient home had other plans and unbridled evil was unleashed. One-by-one, family members were abducted by the demonic dwelling, leaving 16-year-old daughter Alice scrambling to find her vanished loved ones while unlocking the mysteries surrounding the supernatural structure.
Now, in Season 2 of MALICE, young Alice Turner must travel even further down the rabbit hole. The courageous teen must draw on every ounce of her active imagination and youthful intuition as she confronts a shocking revelation. But will this new knowledge bring Alice any closer to unlocking the unthinkable secrets attached to late grandma’s house? Countless questions and endless chills choke the air as her adventure explodes on-screen in the continuation of this mysterious thriller-horror.
A one of a kind entertainment experience, rap-horror series Rhyme Animal follows a materialistic but loyal Brooklyn DJ, Judah, as he rides the coattails of up-and-coming rapper Shiva. Judah’s got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one, that is until his role model rapper’s groupies start mysteriously disappearing one by one.
After a little digging, our DJ learns that his musical idol might in fact be a cannibalistic serial killer. The story takes an even more disturbing turn when Judah questions whether revealing the horrific truth or saving his career is more important. The hardcore rap music that accents Rhyme Animal is equally disturbing, as well as mesmerizing.
An altogether different set of rhymes will get you in the Halloween spirit, this time in 2D. Not since Andrew Dice Clay have nursery rhymes been this much fun, and they certainly have never been this chilling. Grimm Endings presents an anthology of classic nursery rhymes retold with twisted and sinister alterations to their plots and characters.
“Rock-a-Bye Baby,” “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” and “Hansel and Gretel” are just a few of the public domain poems given a macabre makeover. They all start out somewhat normally until something irks one of our favorite childhood characters, quickly transforming them into a demonic killer.
Vampire Zombie Werewolf
The trifecta of vampires, zombies, and werewolves have never been successfully mixed on the big screen, though two out of three (along with some other fantastical hybrid monster species) come together once more in the last installment of the Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn: Part 2, hitting theaters in two weeks.
Individually, each monster equals small screen gold and KoldCast TV’s hilarious horror-comedy Vampire Zombie Werewolf cashes in. The series, which walks the line between camp and crude, explores the question of what a DNA-spliced creation of all three classic horror movie monsters would amount to. As if that wasn’t enough, what’s scarier than setting the story among Hollywood Internet TV producers trying to create a hit?
Hamilton Carver: Zombie P.I.
Hitchcock’s Rebecca did it. Sunset Boulvard did too. American Beauty did it, and so did Escape from New York. The main character in all these movies, usually our narrator, is dead before the movie even begins. Now, Hamilton Carver: P.I. continues the tradition with a grisly twist. At first, Carver is dead set on solving the case of missing lips – “Lips,” that is – the former mob princess of Noir Town who’s been shot dead. Carver gets a lead from Lips’ ghost, only to get himself killed by those who want to keep him quiet.
When he’s given a second chance to solve the case from beyond the grave by being reanimated as a zombie, Carver realizes revenge is sweeter when served by the cold hand of death. Shot in black and white, this genre-mixing series blends a band of ninjas, the mafia, Lucifer, and classic noir cinema into a truly unique take on zombie horror.
Blood thirsty for more? Whet your appetite with
a special promo for Season 2 of MALICE!
Dan Berry staggered onto the comedy scene while drinking heavily and skipping class at New York University. The warped mind behind The Prison Kite and HBO’s upcoming project The Bid, Dan has served as a network staff writer and is co-author of the soon-to-be-released biopic Madoff Uncuffed, documenting disgraced financier Bernie Madoff’s first year behind bars. Be the first person to follow him on Twitter @RealDanBerry.
Ariel Nishli contributed to this story.