Five Travel Destinations Parents Love that Kids Can’t Stand
By Dan Berry
“Are we there yet?” isn’t just the title of a bad Ice Cube movie; it’s a battle cry belted out by every brat since the first homesteader crammed his kids into a covered wagon and took them to see Oregon. Bouncing around in the back of that rickety wooden battlewagon, the kids were eager, anxious and excited at first, until they saw the boring plains and contracted scarlet fever. Maybe if they’d had a better idea of where they were going, they wouldn’t have been so eager to get there.
Times have changed; kids haven’t. The covered wagon was replaced by the Griswold’s station wagon, which has been replaced by the RV and SUV, but kids continue to get dragged on family vacations that put the fun in dysfunctional because parents set itineraries children can’t stand. But how can such discord be avoided? Easy. Tune in to KoldCast TV’s new webseries Next Stop.
You are watching Next Stop: Maui
Subscribe to Next Stop
An exceptional and entertaining travel show featuring the places and the people that make each destination unique, Next Stop shows you where to go, what to do and how to do it. Fun and positive entertainment is the theme of every show, featuring local music, sports and activities, local flavors and much more.
Next Stop not only takes you to fabulous places, it gives you an insider’s look into each of the featured locations, thus helping parents plan a trip everyone enjoys, as opposed to dragging their offspring to one of these five travel destinations that are guaranteed to put a frown on any kid’s face.
The Grand Canyon
A huge fissure carved by the Colorado River through the state of Arizona, the Grand Canyon is 277 miles long, up to 18 miles wide, attains a depth of over a mile and reveals nearly 2 billion years of the Earth’s geological history. Considered one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World, it is a popular destination for sightseeing, rafting, hiking, running and helicopter tours. Of course, all a kid will see is a giant hole in the ground.
Kid Friendly, Next Stop Tested Alternative:
Click To Watch: Oregon Coast, Oregon
Kids will get their fair share of astounding nature in this stretch of largely untouched wildlife, plus there’s the beautiful family-friendly resort of Seaside to keep them occupied. If they’re still complaining, stuff them full of delicious cheese in the food’s capitol at Tillamook.
Colonial Williamsburg
A 301-acre living museum representing the historic district of Williamsburg, Virginia, Colonial Williamsburg is an immensely popular tourist attraction that abides by the motto: “The future may learn from the past.” But what kid wants to spend their summer vacation receiving an education? Sure, Colonial Williamsburg is a fun, fascinating place; but it’s not nearly as fascinating, let alone as fun, to a kid as Williamsburg’s other popular tourist attraction: Busch Gardens.
Kid Friendly, Next Stop Approved Alternative:
Click To Watch: Boston, Masachusetts
A few hundred miles down the coast, a tour through key revolutionary strongholds in Beantown will educate the litte ones about our nation’s history with a tale full of intrigue and adventure. Stop at Old Iron Sides, still full of dents from British warships, before taking them on a bike tour that will not only exhilirate them, but tire them out too.
Hot Springs National Park
The smallest national park by area in the United States, Hot Springs National Park in central Arkansas attracts millions of visitors each year who enjoy hiking, camping and bathing in the hot spring water, which has been used for more than 200 years to treat rheumatism and other ailments. But considering how difficult it is to get a kid to take a bath at home, what would make a parent think that kids would enjoy a vacation centered on bathing? The answer is they wouldn’t. I mean, c’mon, there aren’t even any cute little rubber ducks to play with.
Kid Friendly, Next Stop Approved Alternative:
Click To Watch: Baja California Sur, Mexico
Trade in the piping hot water for the cool Sea of Cortez, where kayaking feet away from baby seals and bottlenose dolphins will make any red-blooded child squeek with wonder. After they’ve had their fill of friendly animals, strap them into a wakeboard, waterski or parasail for an entirely different exhilarating nautical adventure.
Bar Harbor, Maine
Bar Harbor and Acadia National Park offers hiking, swimming, boating and whale watching, among other activities. It constitutes one of the best places to visit in Maine or New England… so long as you’re an adult. Unfortunately, once they’re done splashing around in the water, the options for kids are rather limited and sibling squabbling quickly ensues. Even limitless mouthfuls of the best lobster on the planet won’t be enough to quiet them down.
Kid Friendly, Next Stop Approved Alternative:
Click To Watch: Kelowna, Okanagan Valley
If the kids can’t appreciate the U.S. harbor, British Colombia’s lakes might just do the trick. The region’s second largest ski resort is in Kelowna, providing the tykes with an unmatched winter wonderland. If you need to let off some steam while they hit the slopes, head to one of two hundred wineries that have sprung up over the last 10 years.
Yellowstone National Park
Located primarily in Wyoming, but extending into Montana and Idaho, Yellowstone is the world’s first national park and is famous for its wildlife and numerous geothermal features. It is also famous for its wildfires. Roughly 35 natural forest fires are ignited each year by lightning, while people start another 6 to 10. In an effort to minimize the chances of out-of-control wildfires, park employees also conduct controlled burns. Simply put, if staring at burned down trees isn’t enough excitement, just wait until the kids develop headaches from the noxious smell produced by the Sulphur Springs and begin fighting like characters from The Hunger Games.
Kid Friendly, Next Stop Approved Alternative:
Click To Watch: Tahiti, French Polenesia
Over 118 islands, including the famed Bora Bora, are especially fun to navigate when you have an ATV between your legs. That’s a big no no in a U.S. National Park. The sense of adventure you get from traversing these virtually untouched natural wonders is enough to produce a sense of awe no matter what age you are! If they can’t appreicate nature here, it’s no hope.
Dan Berry staggered onto the comedy scene while drinking heavily and skipping class at New York University. The warped mind behind The Prison Kite and HBO’s upcoming project The Bid, Dan has served as a network staff writer and is co-author of the soon-to-be-released biopic Madoff Uncuffed, documenting disgraced financier Bernie Madoff’s first year behind bars. Be the first person to follow him on Twitter @RealDanBerry.
Five Travel Destinations Parents Love that Kids Can’t Stand
By Dan Berry
“Are we there yet?” isn’t just the title of a bad Ice Cube movie; it’s a battle cry belted out by every brat since the first homesteader crammed his kids into a covered wagon and took them to see Oregon. Bouncing around in the back of that rickety wooden battlewagon, the kids were eager, anxious and excited at first, until they saw the boring plains and contracted scarlet fever. Maybe if they’d had a better idea of where they were going, they wouldn’t have been so eager to get there.
Times have changed; kids haven’t. The covered wagon was replaced by the Griswold’s station wagon, which has been replaced by the RV and SUV, but kids continue to get dragged on family vacations that put the fun in dysfunctional because parents set itineraries children can’t stand. But how can such discord be avoided? Easy. Tune in to KoldCast TV’s new webseries Next Stop.
You are watching Next Stop: Maui
Subscribe to Next Stop
An exceptional and entertaining travel show featuring the places and the people that make each destination unique, Next Stop shows you where to go, what to do and how to do it. Fun and positive entertainment is the theme of every show, featuring local music, sports and activities, local flavors and much more.
Next Stop not only takes you to fabulous places, it gives you an insider’s look into each of the featured locations, thus helping parents plan a trip everyone enjoys, as opposed to dragging their offspring to one of these five travel destinations that are guaranteed to put a frown on any kid’s face.
The Grand Canyon
A huge fissure carved by the Colorado River through the state of Arizona, the Grand Canyon is 277 miles long, up to 18 miles wide, attains a depth of over a mile and reveals nearly 2 billion years of the Earth’s geological history. Considered one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World, it is a popular destination for sightseeing, rafting, hiking, running and helicopter tours. Of course, all a kid will see is a giant hole in the ground.
Kid Friendly, Next Stop Tested Alternative:
Click To Watch: Oregon Coast, Oregon
Kids will get their fair share of astounding nature in this stretch of largely untouched wildlife, plus there’s the beautiful family-friendly resort of Seaside to keep them occupied. If they’re still complaining, stuff them full of delicious cheese in the food’s capitol at Tillamook.
Colonial Williamsburg
A 301-acre living museum representing the historic district of Williamsburg, Virginia, Colonial Williamsburg is an immensely popular tourist attraction that abides by the motto: “The future may learn from the past.” But what kid wants to spend their summer vacation receiving an education? Sure, Colonial Williamsburg is a fun, fascinating place; but it’s not nearly as fascinating, let alone as fun, to a kid as Williamsburg’s other popular tourist attraction: Busch Gardens.
Kid Friendly, Next Stop Approved Alternative:
Click To Watch: Boston, Masachusetts
A few hundred miles down the coast, a tour through key revolutionary strongholds in Beantown will educate the litte ones about our nation’s history with a tale full of intrigue and adventure. Stop at Old Iron Sides, still full of dents from British warships, before taking them on a bike tour that will not only exhilirate them, but tire them out too.
Hot Springs National Park
The smallest national park by area in the United States, Hot Springs National Park in central Arkansas attracts millions of visitors each year who enjoy hiking, camping and bathing in the hot spring water, which has been used for more than 200 years to treat rheumatism and other ailments. But considering how difficult it is to get a kid to take a bath at home, what would make a parent think that kids would enjoy a vacation centered on bathing? The answer is they wouldn’t. I mean, c’mon, there aren’t even any cute little rubber ducks to play with.
Kid Friendly, Next Stop Approved Alternative:
Click To Watch: Baja California Sur, Mexico
Trade in the piping hot water for the cool Sea of Cortez, where kayaking feet away from baby seals and bottlenose dolphins will make any red-blooded child squeek with wonder. After they’ve had their fill of friendly animals, strap them into a wakeboard, waterski or parasail for an entirely different exhilarating nautical adventure.
Bar Harbor, Maine
Bar Harbor and Acadia National Park offers hiking, swimming, boating and whale watching, among other activities. It constitutes one of the best places to visit in Maine or New England… so long as you’re an adult. Unfortunately, once they’re done splashing around in the water, the options for kids are rather limited and sibling squabbling quickly ensues. Even limitless mouthfuls of the best lobster on the planet won’t be enough to quiet them down.
Kid Friendly, Next Stop Approved Alternative:
Click To Watch: Kelowna, Okanagan Valley
If the kids can’t appreciate the U.S. harbor, British Colombia’s lakes might just do the trick. The region’s second largest ski resort is in Kelowna, providing the tykes with an unmatched winter wonderland. If you need to let off some steam while they hit the slopes, head to one of two hundred wineries that have sprung up over the last 10 years.
Yellowstone National Park
Located primarily in Wyoming, but extending into Montana and Idaho, Yellowstone is the world’s first national park and is famous for its wildlife and numerous geothermal features. It is also famous for its wildfires. Roughly 35 natural forest fires are ignited each year by lightning, while people start another 6 to 10. In an effort to minimize the chances of out-of-control wildfires, park employees also conduct controlled burns. Simply put, if staring at burned down trees isn’t enough excitement, just wait until the kids develop headaches from the noxious smell produced by the Sulphur Springs and begin fighting like characters from The Hunger Games.
Kid Friendly, Next Stop Approved Alternative:
Click To Watch: Tahiti, French Polenesia
Over 118 islands, including the famed Bora Bora, are especially fun to navigate when you have an ATV between your legs. That’s a big no no in a U.S. National Park. The sense of adventure you get from traversing these virtually untouched natural wonders is enough to produce a sense of awe no matter what age you are! If they can’t appreicate nature here, it’s no hope.
Dan Berry staggered onto the comedy scene while drinking heavily and skipping class at New York University. The warped mind behind The Prison Kite and HBO’s upcoming project The Bid, Dan has served as a network staff writer and is co-author of the soon-to-be-released biopic Madoff Uncuffed, documenting disgraced financier Bernie Madoff’s first year behind bars. Be the first person to follow him on Twitter @RealDanBerry.