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Looking Beyond Scarfs and Plastic Shades: Why Hipsters Are Real People Too

By Shilpi Roy

We’ve all seen them. They wear clothes that are most often associated with your grandmother’s basement. They have blindingly pale, vampire-esque skin that requires you to put on your shades. And I can guarantee the track playing on their iPhone is way cooler than what you’re listening to.

Whatever attracts you, hipsters possess an undeniable ability to fascinate and confuse. They’re creepy, arrogant, and laughable all at the same time.

Are hipsters really in a class all their own? Or, could it be that hipsters are just like you and me? Would a hipster ever wear a bowtie and headband un-ironically? Would they go to Applebees and actually enjoy the food? If you consider yourself an average citizen of the world, your answer to all these questions is probably “Um, I don’t really understand what a hipster is; I just know that I don’t like them.”

You are watching Episode 1 of Hipsterhood:
“Hipsters Buy Cereal in Silver Lake”

An awkward moment turns ironic in
Episode 2 of Hipsterhood:
“Two Hipsters, One Street Corner, and a Hooker”

This is why we have Hipsterhood, KoldCast’s new Internet TV comedy that follows two Hipsters – one male, one female – who cannot seem to get out of their own internal dialogue and take that crucial next step of having an actual, verbal conversation with one another. The fact is, like all of us, they’re nervous. And it’s anything but ironic.

Hipsters are real people too. They may look, talk, and act differently, but they have the same insecurities as anyone else. Let’s start with the big one:

Hipster Food

When you go to the grocery store, do you struggle between what you should buy and what you actually want to buy? Hipsters do too! In the first episode of Hipsterhood, where two hipsters are trying to figure out what cereal to buy, Hipster Guy goes with his gut and picks the Cookie Crisp, while Hipster Girl makes the intelligent decision and goes with Kashi. What we don’t see is Hipster Girl ignoring her Kashi cereal for days on end, in favor of frozen waffles, ice cream, or anything that tastes better than hamster pellets.

There’s also the age-old question that is brought up in the forthcoming Episode 6 of Hipsterhood: “Am I racist for not trusting Mexican Spices?” Let’s be real for a minute: I think we’ve all questioned the products that we find at a 99-cent store.

Hipsters may talk a big game about vegan this and vegetarian that, but they were brought up on Big Macs and Whoppers too. Those cravings always leave broccoli and kale by the wayside.

Hipster Dating

Do hipsters date differently from regular people? No. In fact, hipsters have it harder than the average Joe because they both have to get past their own hipster-isms to even have a conversation.

At the end of Hipsterhood: Episode 2, there is a hilarious moment when our fated couple bumps into each other and physically can’t get around the other person. While this is an awkward moment for anyone, it’s worse for these hipsters because they’re in that ‘I know who you are, but I’m not sure if you know who I am, so I’m going to pretend I don’t know who you are’ phase of their, ahem, relationship.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a hipster, a homeless guy, or a hooker (watch Episode 2 again), dating is difficult no matter what your social circle.

Hipster Shopping

Where do hipsters go when they shop? What do they buy? Let me tell you a sad fact of being a hipster: you’re forced to buy expensive and unique things because your neighborhood doesn’t include a Wal-Mart, Target, CVS, or Walgreens.

I am all for fair-trade, locally grown, organic, insert-trend-here products, but sometimes I need to buy a toothbrush. And I don’t want to pay $10 for an organic, plastic, biodegradable piece of art deco with bristles; but then I have to drive 20 minutes to the nearest Target.

Or, I can just walk three minutes to my local boutique and buy the artsy brush. Guess what I always end up doing?

Hipster Fashion

Clothing is the fastest way to spot a hipster. Skinny Jeans, chucks, and vintage-anything is the name of the game, but how do you suppose a hipster goes about getting dressed in the morning? In Hipsterhood, Hipster Guy rotates between sweaters and hoodies. Hipster Girl is almost always wearing a faux fur vest. What do all of these pieces of clothing have in common: they’re comfortable!

That’s right, contrary to popular belief, a hipster’s main requirement for putting on clothes is that they be comfortable all day long. In fact, sometimes hipsters are wary of making too loud a statement with their clothes. Take a look at Episode 4 of Hipsterhood, released today, where Hipster Girl and Hipster Guy seem to think that a bright orange hoodie is too drastic of a look.

How many times have you put something on, looked in the mirror and thought to yourself “I can totally pull this off!” only to have your friend/roommate/significant other/mother tell you, “no, you need to change immediately; you cannot pull that look off.” Bottom line: everyone likes to be comfortable, not just hipsters.

Hipster Music

What is hipster music? The better question is, what is not hipster music? It’s best defined as music that is not heard by the mainstream. Hipsters have a reputation for putting down your choice of music, and belittling your ignorance about their music.

In Episode 9 of Hipsterhood, an obnoxious partygoer tries to talk to Hipster Guy about his favorite band, “Ass Hat Bread Machine.” I know everyone has been caught in this quandary: do you pretend to know the band and go with it, or do you confess you don’t and look stupid?

It’s a trick question. The best way to respond to this kind of thing is to change the subject, which Hipster Guy does; he’s got more important things to do than listen to this guy prattle on about a stupidly-named band. Let that be a lesson to you average Joes. You can learn some social etiquette from hipsters too.

Congratulations! You got through a whole description of what it’s like to be a regular person who has a hard time talking to people, strives to maintain a cool image, but also wants to live a life of comfort and not care what people think.

Hipsters are real people too. If you don’t believe me, just watch Hispterhood and see how much of yourself emerges through these characters. It’s scary.

Hipsters… Working out? It can’t be!
Click to watch Episode 3 of Hipsterhood:
“Jogging in Silver Lake”

Feeling a bit mainstream for comfort?
Replenish your utterly ironic soul with some
classic Hipster wisdom.

Shilpy Roy hails from Charlotte, North Carolina. She felt the urge to go West after undergrad and has been in LA ever since. She started her career working for Warren Littlefield, the former head of NBC. After attending the USC School of Cinematic Arts, where she made the award-winning short film The Indian & the Samurai, Shilpi worked for prestigious, and controversial companies such as Brave New Films, and PlayboyTV. Shilpi’s many filmmaking skills keep her constantly busy on a multitude of different projects. In between jobs, Shilpi lives in Silver Lake and dreams of a world where she can spend all day playing with her large and cuddly cat, Taiko.

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Must Reads 9/16/2014