Real Life Rapture: Who Goes, Who Stays?4

By Ariel Nishli, Feb 20, 2012 in Offbeat, Pop Culture

If you’re like most people, chances are you don’t consider October 21, 2011 an extraordinary date. It was a brisk autumn day, the temperature hovering around the mid-60s, at least in Southern California. U.S. stocks rallied to their highest levels in three months, anticipating a swift resolution to Europe’s debt crisis. Wishful thinking, but the day traders weren’t the only ones whose calculations were off. According to Christian futurists, October 21, 2011 was the day the world was supposed to end. For centuries, it’s been termed “The Rapture”.

As we’re still here, let’s talk about this religious thang. The Rapture is an event believed to occur with or near the second coming of Christ, in which he will remove all righteous Christians from the earth in order to save them before it’s destroyed. The word “Rapture” is derived from its Latin root “Raptare”, which literally means “to be caught up”. Caught up, as in literally caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord. The belief in this cataclysmic event is derived from the Christian prophets. There are several prophecies that allude to the Rapture; one of the more prominent is Thessalonians 4:15-17:

¹⁵According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. ¹⁶ For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. ¹⁷ After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.

Spooky stuff, huh? Well, as is the case with all prophecies, it’s a matter of interpretation. KoldCast TV takes the deadpan comedy approach to this heavy-handed subject with their muted sci-fi series Raptured. The series follows lovelorn 30-something Sarah Bailey, who is tricked by an angel into being in charge of a Rapture gone wrong. Instead of the seamless upgrade that took place a century earlier, half the people have been left behind this time around. It’s now Sarah’s job to ensure that those who deserve to be saved make it over, a huge responsibility anyway you cut it. Sarah can’t exactly put “great judge of character” on her resume either. Her brother is a deadbeat alcoholic whom she lets crash with her indefinitely, despite his hangover-inducing habit. And her best friend, well, she’s a slut.

Raptured – Episode 1

There are three predominant opinions as to when the Rapture will take place: pre-tribulation, mid-tribulation, and post-tribulation. The tribulations refer to a seven-year period of widespread horrors that those who believe, believe will occur before the Second Coming of Christ. These include, but are not limited to famine, flood, war, pestilence, and earthquakes. Throughout the years, there have been widespread speculations on the date. One of the biggest for wrong Rapturists (Raptors?) was 1993, which would allow for seven years of tribulations before the inevitable end of days, which would occur when the clock struck midnight on New Years Eve 2000.

The latest failed foresight, mentioned earlier, is attributed to Harold Camping, a Christian radio announcer who caused a stir with his prediction that on May 21, 2011 Jesus would return to earth to sling the righteous into their new cloud digs. This would precede five months of tribulations, leading up to the end of the world on October 21, 2011. When that didn’t pan out, he claimed a spiritual rapture had indeed occurred and that the physical rapture would occur on the October date. No dice there either, so he finally declared no one would ever really know for sure. The massive publicity campaign launched by his company, Family Radio, probably didn’t help ease the pressure to make fire and brimstone. In fact, Camping suffered a stroke in between the two dates.

Harold Camping at Family Radio

By now you must be at the edge of your seat practically shouting the ineluctable question at the computer screen, “What about meeeee?!?” The short answer is, you’re most likely staying put. Sorry hombre. According to Rapture-touting Christians, getting that golden ticket is akin to landing a spot on the U.S. Military’s Seal Team Six. There are boatloads of dedicated, talented, and trained members of the armed forces. To get into that elite unit, however, you have to be as close to perfect of a soldier as one can get. Murderous training courses weed out those who can’t cut it – and as illuminated by the bell in G.I. Jane, and most exits are usually of one’s own volition. When you can’t take anymore, ring the bell and you’re out.

Rapture believers divide the people of earth into four distinct groups:

• Believers: those who live their lives truly committed to following Jesus’ commandments and have fully opened their hearts to his loving kindness.
• Cultural Christians: essentially people whose faith extends no further than signifying “Christianity” on the “Religious Views” section of their Facebook pages.
• Wordly: scoffers, snubbers, ridiculers, and rejecters. Atheists, essentially.
• Israel: Jews not for Jesus.

According to Rapture Believers, it’s really quite simple. If you fall into any category aside from “Believers”, you will remain bound by the laws of gravity. You’ve already rang the bell by allowing yourself to indulge in a life of sin. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

Luckily, all of us earthbound spirits can still make a buck. A fascinating cottage industry has sprung up in the wake of predicting the End of Days – Rapture insurance! All sorts of services exist to protect those left behind after their loved ones ascend that stairway to heaven. After all, what sort of eligible Christian wouldn’t extend a posthumous hand to those less worthy? Anything from pets to possessions can be insured. Property and life insurance are good bets, though the latter may be problematic in showing proof of death. There are even companies that will send out a mass email, one you’ve composed in advance, once you’re gone.

Like Sarah Bailey, we’re all faced with tough choices in life that force us wrestle with our understanding of morality. Whether the Rapture is coming or not; whether we’re ill-advised or well-prepared, the best we can do is be good this very moment. Right now.

Raptured – Episode 2

Watch the next episode of the cool sci-fi series RAPTURED

Ariel Nishli has a big apple in his heart but moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in the entertainment industry after graduating from Vanderbilt University in 2007. He started in the motion picture literary department at ICM before moving on to feature film development at Parkes MacDonald Productions. Ariel’s wardrobe has steadily devolved from designer suits to worn out slippers, as he now focuses on screenwriting and freelance writing.