Six Hollywood Marriages We Actually Thought Would Last2
By Meg McCarthy
Let’s go back to 1957. A woman’s best friend is her kitchen and her hottest new fashion accessory is an apron. She need not worry about her own silly hopes and dreams because her number one priority is to be a good wife. Who needs social freedoms when you have your pots and pans!
The percentage of unwed women living alone today has doubled since the 1950s. According to a survey taken by psychologists at the University of Michigan in 1957, 80% of Americans thought that unmarried women living alone were either mentally challenged spinsters or had sold their souls to the devil. Jump to 2012 and a single woman is labeled successful and sexy, far from a psychotic sorceress. Bye-bye Betty Draper, first half of season one. We ladies of the 21st Century think you are one crazy bitch.
Abby Freeman, star of KoldCast TV’s new comedy series, About Abby, never thought she wanted to be single. Up until recently, Abby was on the marriage track with her high school sweetheart of five years. Well, life doesn’t always end up the way we planned it. If this were the 1950s, her breakup would probably result in growing old and lonely in a house full of cats. Luckily for Abby, she was born into a young, modern world. For the first time in her adult life, she understands the power of being independent. Newly single in the LA dating scene, this is Abby’s first chance to figure out who she is and have a little fun.
A romantic at heart, Abby’s anticipation for the one-night stands that await are still masked by the hope that prince charming is out there. Can you blame her? The happily-ever-after fairytale Prince Charming calls home has been promulgated by celebrity romances on screen for decades.
Click to watch Episode 1 of About Abby – About Abby and the Aussie
Unfortunately, real celebrity marriages have about the lifespan of a carton of milk. That’s why, in the rare case that they do go the distance, we fall in love right alongside them. Ooh… I want that too! Alas, we were crushed when these six Hollywood dream marriages that we thought would last turned into just another TMZ nightmare divorce.
Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson
The world (I mean every 16 year old girl) was stunned when Nick and Jessica filed for divorce in 2005. Their MTV reality show based on their marriage, Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica, showed the world how perfect they were for each other. They even shot a sexy music video with them kissing under a waterfall to show us how beautiful and in love they were. If the show taught us anything, it was that Jessica was a certified idiot, and Nick loved her anyway. If he didn’t leave her after the whole “chicken of the sea is chicken” disaster, he would never leave her. Maybe their marriage could have lasted if their lives weren’t taped for the whole nation to gawk at… I guess we’ll never know.
Heidi Klum and Seal
The couple shocked the world when they ended their eight-year marriage earlier this year. Seal and Heidi appeared to have it all: three beautiful children, out of this world Halloween costumes, exotic vacations. They were a power couple in every sense, her long legs, and his voice. Let’s just hope he pulled out all the stops, i.e. serenading her with “Kiss from a Rose,” before calling it quits.
Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins
After a 23-year relationship the never married couple split in 2009. They have two children together. What the hell happened? This break up is actually depressing. They both have had successful careers, and managed to stay together through the height of both. All I know is that Susan started running a ping-pong club in New York City after the break-up. Yeah, that sounds about right.
Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony
This one came as a big shocker to me. Jenny from the block has had multiple failed relationships, and she seemed genuinely settled this time. The two Latin lovebirds split in 2011. I don’t get it! Their performance together on American Idol last year was so steamy. He was passionately singing and she was rubbing up against him, shaking her ass and all. Oh well. They’re currently working together on the show Q’Viva! The Chosen. The ex-couple still have electric onscreen chemistry, according to loyal viewers. They seemed very relaxed on Ellen, which leads me to conclude that their separation must have been a mutual understanding.
Zooey Deschanel and Ben Gibbard
Adorable New Girl star filed for divorce in December 2011 from “Death Cab for Cutie” front man Ben Gibbard. Zooey has recently gotten a lot of attention with the success of her hit TV show, and for being the quirkiest cutie in Hollywood. Maybe she was getting too much attention from the media and Gibbard’s emo heart couldn’t take it anymore. I secretly wish I could have been a fly on the wall when it went down, because I cannot for the life of me picture Zooey angry. Maybe they just took out their guitars and sang their feelings to each other. I was really rooting for these two.
Jessica Lange and Sam Shepard
This one was a personal blow. The couple split about two years after being together for 28 years. Shepard is my favorite playwright. Lange is undeniably one of the most talented actresses of the past thirty years. Like Susan and Tim they stuck together during the height of their careers. The media tends to not make a big deal over the separations of older Hollywood couples. For me, the long lasting relationships are more devastating. Sam and Jessica were a commendable pair.
Entertainers evoke our most deep-seated emotions through their performances. They pour their hearts out to their audiences and in return we make a connection with them. They give us hope that traditional romance actually exists. The balancing act between love and success is no walk in the park though. Maybe this is why celebrity marriages rarely work but a modern day woman like Abby can be single, successful, and optimistic about love even if it’s unrealistic. The truth is that she’s out there making it on her own, proving that success and love can be a reality not just a Hollywood movie’s fairytale ending.
Click to watch Episode 2 of About Abby – About Abby and the Ex
Meg McCarthy moved to Los Angeles three years ago after graduating from the Tisch School of the Arts at NYU. She is somewhat of a triple threat. She acts, directs, and of course, writes. Most recently, Meg has completed her first animated short that she wrote and directed. Most importantly, she is a die hard Al Pacino fan, Whoo-Ah!