How To Stay Classy Long After Class Is Out: The Post-Graduate Life Checklist
By Ian Rice and Mac Brown
(Ian Rice & Mac Brown are the creators of Those With Class)
University degree? Check. Living anywhere other than your parents’ basement? Check. Transitioning from an irresponsible and downright dangerous college student to a more mature, well-rounded adult? Che – oh wait… Shoot.
At some point in every responsible adult’s twenties, they had to turn the party switch off (or at least put it on a dimmer) and grow up. For some, it’s a much longer, more offensive process. Exhibit A: KoldCast TV’s newest comedy series, Those With Class.
You are watching the Season 1 Premiere of
Those With Class: “The Morning After”
As hard as this motely crew of roommates tries to climb the societal ladder (and try hard they do not!), they can never say no to a good time. So much of their lives have been cookie cut out for them that we thought it prudent to develop a checklist for the post-graduate abyss they now face.
Item #1: Don’t Get a Temp Job! Find a Career.
A job isn’t always easy to come by, but there are other options you can take. Take Taylor for example: she has the qualifications of a lab rat, but found a niche by creating her own singer/songwriter career.
She claims to have a successful “vlog,” wherein she performs naked acoustic covers and even a few original songs. With such tracks as “You’re Drunk Drivin’ Me Crazy,” “Siri Take the Wheel,” and “Skype Sex,” it’s only a matter of time before she keeps working as a waitress for the rest of her life.
To date, Taylor has banked a staggering $787 in online ad revenue and she’s ready to cash in when the rent is due. Or maybe that was $7.87…
Item #2: Create Long Lasting Friendships
Sometimes adult friendships are not always about who has your back, but whose back you can step on. Mic happens to be a pro at this. He has a knack for manipulating situations and swiftly passing the blame onto others.
You wouldn’t think so at first glance. After all, how much wrong could a personable, young, painstakingly neat, and fully clothed homosexual do? This is a guy who’ll drink until he’s face down on the floor, but that pinky will still point straight out because that’s how classy people do it.
If there’s a wine stain on the carpet it’s probably Mic’s fault, but he’s going to blame Josh or Taylor and they’ll believe him, which is why their relationship works. Because at the end of the day Mic will get his security deposit back – and that’s what really matters.
Item #3: In order To Find the One – Stop Looking!
Post-graduate life is the time many put away their flings and think about what they’re looking for in the long-term. Not Josh. He’s had relationships in the past, some of which have even lasted longer than three weeks. He’s quite the catch: clean-shaven, all his teeth accounted for, and as far as we can tell, a regular bather.
From the way Josh behaves, it becomes pretty clear he’s not trying to impress. On any given Wednesday, you can usually find him on the couch, passed out and pant-less. Depending on whether or not he was able to afford alcohol the previous night, his hand will be stuck in a box of Cheez-Its or his face dunked in a bowl of guacamole.
That’s all fine though, because there’s really only one girl out there for Josh: that guacamole gorging, thrift-shop thieving, nearly homeless lady. She’ll find him one day… Hopefully she’ll have a son, so Josh can borrow his clothes.
Item #4: When All Else Fails, Find a Responsible Roommate
The ace up the sleeve of any self-destructive college graduate who somehow manages to keep it all together is a responsible roommate. Enter Bridget.
Mic, Josh, and Taylor aren’t really sure where she came from, or what she is exactly, but Bridget pays her rent on time, unintentionally makes the roommates feel good about themselves, and even does the laundry! So, they keep her around.
That’s your four point, welcome-to-real-life checklist, and the roommates who gloriously exemplify what it means to be a floundering “post-grad.” As bizarre and foolish as they seem, each roommate from Those With Class can actually offer some wisdom about growing up.
See, everybody knows someone like the characters described above, especially if you can’t admit that you’ve been one of them at some point. In the post-collegiate haze where real life is still defining itself, it’s not necessarily a bad thing to learn life’s lessons through your mistakes.
Thankfully, our crew in Those With Class is making every mistake in the book. In fact, it may be the only way to go. Just make sure there are no camera phones at your party, ‘cause if that sh*t gets on Facebook, your life is ruined.
Click to watch Episode 2 of
Those With Class: “Mic’s Blind Date”
Ian Rice was born and raised in Aurora, a suburb of Denver. In 5th grade he picked up a camera and registered his own company called Flick Productions. He was a film major at Chapman University and now works for a movie trailer company. They cut the trailers, and he gets their lunch.
Mac Brown comes from a small town in the Pacific Northwest. He graduated as a screenwriting major from Chapman University and is now living in Los Angeles where he does what every other aspiring writer does: gets somebody else’s coffee and tries desperately to get noticed by anyone. Anyone at all. Hello?